Wednesday, September 29, 2004

final poem...Everyone

This one is a short poem that I wrote when I was living in Indianapolis. I wrote it after a friend and I got into a car accident. It's interesting how I flock to poetry when I am conflicted...and when I am working through things. In many ways I have used poetry in the past as a form of therapy.


Everyone, everyone saw but him
The turning of time
The twisting of faith
With no warning to his innocent eyes

All that was seen was red
Circling around the rage
Twisting outside reality
In search of something jade

The chaos slowed
As reality was setting in
Heading into the fury once again
Hoping to find where compassion resides

A wish to turn back time
Returning to the moments of joy, but
Cemented in the course of events
To live over-again and again

another poem....She

Here is another poem of mine. It is actually my favorite poem...the one I am most proud of. I can easily remember where I was when I wrote it. It is clearly some feminist rage, but I am also as equally proud of that. Enjoy!


Born into a realm of submission
inequality, sexism: whatever you want to call it
Ripped into a foreign and unforgiving world
From the womb of safety and serenity

An immediate cry emerges
Signifying the fight within-
The fight that will have to be evoked
To stay real and true

Growing, changing, pushing limits
Continuing the fight in a new state of consciousness
Fighting for the man's power?
never, not for her

Womanly power surrounds and electrifies
Giving something that no man could ever give
Different in so many ways
Ways that are not equal, better or worse

The Power to bring a child from her womb
Being with another for month after month
And the Power to choose not to
And still feel feminine and womanly

The Power to heal and comfort
To teach and elevate others
Passed from grandmother to granddaughter
Each generation bound to the past

There are so many powers which are hers
She does not need to borrow, nor share
Just tap into what she knows, what she feels
And the Power is then already hers

She had the Power from her first day of life
Screaming and kicking and fighting,
The man's power shadows, distorts, and hides
Making it disappear as if it had never been there

She shows us her power
With every breath she takes
The strength that it takes for her to keep going
Going in a world not designed for her

She is like you
She is like me
She is like all of us
Show us all your power

posting some of my old poems...

I wrote a few entries back that I might start writing poetry, I thought I would start by posting some of my old poems here...just to give people a taste of what my poetry usually looks like.

I am hoping in the next month or set aside some time to just sit and write and see if anything comes to me.

This is the poem I ended up putting on someone else's blog a week or so ago. Yep, it bugs me that not a one person responded to it...especially the person I posted it to, but then again...I remember that I write for me. I wrote this one when I was in college...which tells you how long ago that was. It was in response to that constant self doubt...and it connected to an assignment I had in my 'images' class.

At Last Sight

At first sight
I look in the mirror
Who do I see?
The person I am,
or the person they want me to be
who's to know the difference

Mirror bends and contorts
depending on the voice
of the one telling the story
When will that voice be mine?

Smiling when everyone says so,
following the path designed by others
so many others
Hiding the true emotion
because it does not fit who you are inside

When will the true me emerge
and will I recognize her?
Or will I think that she, my true self,
is another mirage to be shown to the world

At first site I wonder,
I wonder about the life I have
the dreams that I create
Are they really mine?
I wonder....
If I will be wondering at last sight

more poems will be coming later...I will just pick a few favorites and post em up here.


So, I watched Last Comic Standing last night. I just love the show. One, because it is just too funny. Two, because it is a reality show about talent, not about trickery or drama.

Last night's episode was a roast of the host, Jay Mohr. It was a lot of jokes about Mohr's whole career being nothing more than Jerry Maguire. *yawn* But, the comics also took turns taking shots at one another...

And that is where I have a bone to pick with two of the comedians.....Ralphie and Tess. If almost all of your own routine is about how you are big and overweight...then don't cop an attitude when others make the same joke. Tess only seemed to have an attitude about it once, but Ralphie was complaining and scowling the whole show. Ralphie's whole act is a walking fat guy joke...and when others make the "big guy" jokes at his expense...he gets all attitudey. just bugged me what an attitude...mainly Ralphie had all night considering what his act contains. You didn't see Jay London having an attitude last season when the group made fun of him because of his looks and caveman like features...since Jay knows that is what he makes fun of as well.

I don't just seemed quite hypocritical to me.

P.S. I hope everyone voted for Todd Glass. I love the guy...and think he is hilarious.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

TV Tuesday Week 25

That's right's Tuesday once again, so it is time for TV Tuesday! Head over there and TV Tuesday yourself...why dontcha!

Week 25 - Favorite Channels

It's true that human's are creature of habit and we've all got our favorite shows, celebs, movies, etc, so this week we're going to examine your favorite channels! :)

1. It's off to an easy start, what's your favorite channel?
These days I would say that my favorite channel would be a hybrid of TNT and FX. I enjoy watching the reruns on those channels...often much more than the new shows which are on network.

2. What shows are on your favorite channel?
FX: The Practice, Buffy, The Shield, Rescue Me (sometimes)
TNT: Angel, Judging Amy, The Pretender

3. Does your favorite channel change often or are you a loyal watcher?
Well, I am kind of the sense that I like shows, not networks. I tend to be all over the board. On Fox, I watch 24, Malcolm in The Middle, That 70s Show, The Simpsons, Arrested Development. On ABC, I watch Alias, The Practice (well used to), Lost. On CBS, I watch...umm, nothing. On NBC, I watch Fear Factor, Last Comic Standing, Scrubs, Joey, Will & Grace, Apprentice, ER. I guess if I had to say which network I have been loyal to for the longest stretch of would have to be NBC.

~Bonus~ How much of a creature of habit are you? Do you have a daily or weekly viewing schedule? Is your TV or Cable programmed to switch channels even if you're not there? LOL
I usually watch the same shows every week, but there are only two shows which I really don't like to miss...24 and Alias.

Monday, September 27, 2004

another survey do-hickey....

I saw this email/survey thing over at Matt's place and thought....I'm gonna steal it and do it here. Yep, I am all about the stealing!

Vermont. I would love to have a home there. It is so beautiful, but so expensive. I would love to live in a little snowy bungalo.

My Old Navy pajama pants. I love them...they are soft and cuddly and just make me feel warm and at home. I often wear them out of the house...just to show 'em off!

30 Seconds to Mars. I had heard good things and got the CD for a great price from so I am glad I got it.

About 7:30am...6:30am on Saturdays since I have my exercise class super early that day.

Spain...probably down by the Coast...Costa del Sol. I remember Spain being so beautiful when I was last there.

The toaster oven. I cook almost everything in it.

I would like to play guitar better than I do. But if there is something that I don't play at all...that I would like to play, it would have to be piano.

green or purple. I think it might be a tie.

If I had to pick one, I would pick sports car. I can't stand SUVs. They seem like such a plight on humankind.

Sure, but not in the traditional heaven/hell way.

Anne of Green Gables or Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends"

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? is such a gorgeous season. The leaves are breath taking and I love the crisp cold quality of the air.

to be able to read people's minds...but since I saw that episode of Buffy, I would want to be able to turn the super power off and on, so I wouldn't go crazy from not being able to get people's voices OUT of my head.

I have two. I have a sunflower on the outside of my left ankle and I have a turtle with the women's symbol on its shell on the inside of my right angle. I want to get a third, but I am not ready yet.

Nope, I can't. I would love to be able to though.

Bubba- my grandfather

I don't think I have a favorite day. hmm...

My dream job? Well, I think that would be to be running a community center in the town I grew up. I would like to be able to answer questions for people and help them in whatever way I could. But, I would only want to do it...if it was funded in a way that didn't take away from helping people. And on a fun note...I would also love to be doing community theatre as well, since acting is something I don't do often, but I have a lot of love and passion for.

So much crap. I still have a bunch of stuff from when I moved from Indiana back in JUNE. I have some clothes in there and a couple of baskets full of trinkets and junk. I also have a car safety kit...and I am sure some other things that I can't remember now.

I will have to say neither...since I am not a fan of sushi and I am a vegetarian. My answer is that I prefer veggie burgers.


I saw this article yesterday on MSN and thought it was hilarious. It just made me, about the idea of the party and two, because people were actually punished for it.

This is my fav quote from the RA of the students:

"There are other ways they can go out and get a girlfriend if that's what they want," she said.


I think I might try writing some poetry again. I used to write it quite frequently a few years back, but since then...I just haven't been motivated to write. I might try again...seeing if there is anything there that wants to be written. I ended up posting one of my poems on someone else's journal last week...which no one seemed to care at all about, but it reminded me of when I used to write...and how much I enjoyed it. Who knows? If I get something down on paper...maybe I will post it here.


Guess what I got in the mail on Saturday? The little card that confirms that I am registered to vote in New York. yippee! No, really...I am quite excited about the idea of voting. I am one of the few people that votes every year...instead of every other year or more likely, every 4 years.

Also, knowing that for 70 years women fought with all they had to win the right to vote...I feel that it in many ways is my duty to vote. I can't even imagine a world...even though I know it existed...where women weren't allowed the priviledge of voting. I wish more people voted. I wish more women voted. People talk about how they don't feel that politicians listen to them...and how their voice doesn't matter. But then they don't, of course...then your voice doesn't matter.


The Balloon Festival was this weekend in happens every September and hundreds of hot air balloons are flown, etc. It's really an amazing experience. I think because I grew up here, I always took it for granted. It's such a beautiful thing to look out your window and see the sky full of colorful balloons.


I don't think I have anything else to write. So, how was everyone's weekend???

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Friday Feast One Day Late

I forgot to do Friday's Feast yesterday, so here it is on Saturday!

Feast Eighteen

On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how attractive do you think you are?
Hmm...well, I don't know. I think I might be a 7...depending on what we are rating on here. I have been told I have pretty eyes and a nice smile...and I think I agree there. I know I could stand to lose a few pounds...and so I often beat myself up over that, but all in all...when the day is done, I think I am average, but also a catch. And...I must say, I hate this question.

What local restaurant would you recommend to a visitor to your town or city?
This would have been SO much easier when I lived in Bloomington...since there are so many amazing local restaurants there. I miss the local food scene since moving back to NY. But, if I had to recommend one place...I think I would recommend Steve's Place for breakfast. It's an awesome little diner that has some really fabulous food. I haven't been there in years...but I can't remember being there and not leaving with my tummy full of yummilicious food.

What's a lesson you had to learn the hard way?
I have learned a lot of lessons the hard way. Probably the biggest one is about friendships...and when you just have to cut your losses and let go. I have had more than one friendship where I can feel it starting to fall apart...and when that other person just makes it clear how much they don't value your friendship. I have learned the hard and painful way that beating myself up...and always wondering why I wasn't a good enough friend isn't going to help anyone, especially me. Those people, maybe it is better that they aren't in my life. I thought I learned that lesson the first time around...but the second time around, I learned that I didn't learn it as well as I should have.

Main Course
Name something in your life that you feel you can depend on 100%.
My dad. He's a rock and he will always, ALWAYS do whatever he can to help me when I need it. He's an amazing man.

If you could see the front page of a newspaper from September 24, 2104, what would you imagine the headline might be?
I would love to have the headline of the paper say something that showed that the world is a better place than it is now. Maybe something about the end of homelessness or everyone in the US getting health care, etc. Or maybe it will be about the new boy band which is rocking the nation! *winks*


I happened across this article when surfing the net this morning before heading out to my exercise class.

Jesse Ventura Doesn't Plan to Vote

So, someone who considered himself so invested in politics and government that he not only ran for office, but was the Governor of Minnesota is not going to bother to vote in this upcoming Presidential election. I wonder how Ventura would have reacted if someone said that they were not going to vote when he was running for office.

Why is Ventura not voting? Because he doesn't like Bush or Kerry. Ventura doesn't like Kerry because Ventura is rich and therefore Kerry will raise his taxes. Ventura doesn't like Bush because of his domestic particular gay marriage and stem cell research.

Well...good job Ventura. You just proclaimed to the whole world that you don't give a damn about the political system. And how is not voting going to help anything??? It's not. also just told the world that when it comes down to it...the common good and welfare of the fellow man...when compared to losing any more in your checkbook...doesn't really matter. Ventura seems to be saying that he supports Kerry's policies..especially domestic...but, since Kerry is going to raise his taxes in order to get these things done, he is not willing to vote for him.

You know what Jessie "The Body" Ventura...Kerry will be raising his taxes too. Kerry is a wealthy, wealthy man...and he has said over and over again that if there is a burden to bear, those who can take the burden and still survive are the ones that should.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

tv thoughts...

So, I have said that I love Must See TV on Thursday's always a constant in my TV watching. So, here's my thoughts on Must See TV tonight:

For the first time since it began, I thought Joey was hilarious. I had made comments when it first premiered that I wasn't sure. Well...tonight, I laughed my socks off. I didn't notice the laugh track that I complained about a few weeks back...mainly because I was laughing over it. Joey's sister is growing on me...the kid and his geek friend were hilarious tonight. And...I loved Joey trying to make friends...and him playing a game at the end with the weird guy. It reminded me a lot of the silly games that the gang used to play on Friends. For me, this show is really coming into its's just going to need some time...just like Friends needed time. That show didn't hit a homerun with the first show either....

The Apprentice
Yep, I love the Apprentice. It is so entertaining to me...even though I am well aware that it isn't anything close to reality. The teams this week had to create buzz about toothpaste. Yes, that is's toothpaste! *giggles*
In the end...the women lost again, not because they didn't create the best buzz, but because they weren't able to budget their money...and went WAY over. tisk, tisk! I knew once they went over budget that they were going to lose...and I agree, they should have. It doesn't matter how amazing your product is...if you can't stay within budget and within the rules.
So, in the boardroom...the women all harp on Stacie J again. They talk about how she isn't stable and therefore makes things more difficult for the team to work effectively. I don't think Stacie has performed badly, but I agree that she isn't helping the team at all. She requires a lot of babysitting and seems to attract drama like a moth to a flame. When Trump has the women in the boardroom....he asks them if Stacie is unbalanced or crazy or whatever. All the women say that there was a moment when Stacie made everyone uncomfortable. Some say she was close to schizophrenic. Bullshit. Whoever that was...has never actually seen anything close to schizophrenic then. But, I do think that something happened with Stacie...but, I don't think it was anything more than her not being able to deal with pressure, which in a lifestyle like Trump's....that is a huge liability all in itself. is my quote from the night from Stacie as she was riding away in the taxicab after being fired:

"I want to know what their definition of crazy is? Crazy people go and blow up buildings, kill people, don't pay their taxes. I own a business. I pay my taxes and I am not crazy."

Ok...I have many comments about this. One, I just love Stacie's definition of crazy. I guess someone can never be crazy...if they pay their taxes. What the hell? I have known a good number of crazy people who....dum, dum, dum...have paid their taxes! My second comment is that Stacie has a pretty warped idea of what crazy or mental illness is. Mental illness isn't just blowing up buildings, killing people and of course...not paying taxes! I do think she could use a wee bit of help, but it doesn't look like she is open to getting it. Oh well...Trump sent her packing!

I am glad to have ER back. I have been watching reruns in the morning on TNT...and I have missed the show. I like Abby being a doctor now...since she is one of my fav characters. And it's also nice to have an episode with Noah Wyle in it. He is going to be MIA for half this season too. One thing I always hate about ER...every single ad for the show says that the episode is the MOST DRAMATIC EVER! Come on now...

Ok now...I have just realized that was way too much to write about TV. I know...I know...not a good sign!

Theatre Thursday Week 18

Whoo's Theatre Thursday time!

Week 18 - The big screen.

Do you remember your first time?

1. Do you remember the very first time you watched a movie on the big screen? Describe it.
Well, I am not sure if it is the most movie I ever saw on the big screen, but it is the first one I remember. It was one of the Star Wars movies...and since the first one came out the year I was born, I can only assume it was Return of the Jedi. Well...back then you used to get popcorn in buckets...instead of those flimsy bags you get now a days. In the middle of the movie...when Luke was fighting against some unknow peril and a big and evil brother got so scared, he poured all the popcorn out of the bucket and stuck it on his head to cover his terrified eyes. He's older than me...and Luke's danger didn't scare me at all...and I just remember being so amused of my brother's fright.

2. What was the last movie you saw on the big screen?
Fahrenheit 9/11. I saw it when I was in Vermont since it wasn't being shown here. I don't often see movies in the theatre since they are so freakin if I want to see a movie, I wait until it comes out on DVD. And...if I wait, I not only get to see the movie, but all the swanky features. I just couldn't wait to see 9/11 just seemed too important.

3. Did you ever like a movie so much that you paid to watch it more than once? If so, what movie?
There have probably been movies I have wanted to see more than once. If I see a really good movie...I immediately want to see it again. I often watch movies I rent more than once before I return them. I think the only times I have gone to see a movie more than once...isn't because I desperately wanted to see it again, but because I saw it with one group of friends and then saw it again with another group. But I can't think of the last time that happened....

BONUS) How much does a movie ticket cost in your neck of the woods?
It costs about 5 dollars for a matinee...and about 8 dollars for an evening show. I usually always go for a matinee...

And yes, I am the cheapest penny pincher alive. I admit it!

It's Thursday....and Theatre Thursday is just waiting to be filled out...and get to it!


Tuesday, September 21, 2004

TV Tuesday Week 24

It's Tuesday and that can only mean it is time for TV Tuesday!

Week 24 - Spin off's

A great show never dies, it simply spins off into new shows! LOL This week we'll take a look at the ever famous spin off syndrome!!

1. What's your favorite all time spin off? Which show did it spin off?
Well, I think the best spin offs are the ones that well....don't seem like spin offs at all. I would say that Angel...the Buffy spin off is one of the best. It stands alone and has that same feel of Buffy, but also is clearly its own show. I would also say that Frasier was a great spin off as well...even though I wasn't always a fan of the show.

2. What do you consider the worst spin off ever? Why?
Well...there are many that just don't work. But you know...those horrible ones...they don't last and therefore they also don't linger in my mind. But, I did hate...and I mean hate...all of those spin offs of Star Trek. Come on many do we really need???

3. Is there a show that's ended that you wish they'd done a spin off for? Which one?
I would have to say ER. I would be great to have a spin off show showing what is going on with Dr. Doug Ross (Clooney) and Nurse Hathaway (Margulies). I am sure they would have done that...if there was a chance in hell of Clooney doing it.

~Bonus~ If you could "end" your current life and make a spin off of it what would you call it? What would be the theme (characters new and eliminated, changes you'd make)?
I don't think I can answer that question...but what the heck, I will try. It would be Shelley:Peace Corps. It would be the story of two years of my life while I am in the Peace Corps. I have always wanted to be in the, it could be interesting!

There it go answer TV Tuesday yourself.

Monday, September 20, 2004

I thought a lot about this possible job in Albany over the weekend...what it might mean for my career and the limitations of it.

To make a long story short...the director called back this afternoon and offered the job to me again at only a smidge more money. And after thinking about it, I rejected the offer.

I decided that I shouldn't sell myself short and with the commute, I would barely be making any money. It might be a nice gateway position, but it just didn't feel right.

So, I am still very much by choice. I am going to volunteer there from time to time, but I just couldn't sign on for the position....with the salary it was offering.

I wonder if saying no was a huge mistake, but I think it was the right thing to do...and it allows me to keep looking for something I really really want.


Give me some comforting thoughts...or tell me what a fool I am...

Friday, September 17, 2004

Read this article...

Who's That In My Casket?

Now, that is absolutely hilarious.

Friday Feast 9/17

There's no Theatre instead, enjoy this Friday Feast!

How are you today?
Pretty good. I got a call back and got offficially offered that I just need to officially decide if I am going to take it. Other than that...I am a smidg tired. *yawns*

Name 3 television shows you watch on a regular basis.
Three shows, eh?

Daily Show

and here is a fourth cause I love it and barely ever miss it:

Last Comic Standing Go Heffron!!!

What's the scariest weather situation you've experienced?
My brother lives in Florida, so I imagine his answer would be a lot different than mine. In all honesty, I have lived in areas which have pretty boring weather. We don't get tornados here...we don't get earth quakes...we don't get hurricanes. We do get snow and ice and freezing rain though. I can remember when I was in college...getting an ice storm that was so severe that we lost power for over a week and the roads were completely unusable. But yeah...that's about it. A tornado nearly missed my town in Bloomington, but it missed, it doesn't count.

Main Course
If you could wake up tomorrow morning in another country, where would you want to be?
There are so many places I would like to travel. I will make it a tie between Ireland and Australia. Both places seem so intriguing and beautiful to me.

What do you usually wear to sleep?
Well aren't you presumptive to ask! *winks* Well, I wear pajama pants from Old Navy and either a t-shirt or a tank top. I know...exciting, eh?

I hope everyone is enjoying their Friday...and if you have a few moments, go fill out the feast!!

Donald Trump is not my reality!!!

Yep, that's right...I watch The Apprentice. It's true...and I will even admit to enjoying it. I got sucked in last year when the put the show on Thursday nights and I will pretty much watch anything between Friends and ER...well, now Joey and ER.

But, I often think Trump makes some really rank decisions. I have said before that if I was ever a contestant on The Apprentice, I would probably be fired almost immediately. Not because I would deserve it, but because it seems like The Don and I have a different way of doing business...and different values as to what constitutes good work. Obviously...his way is much more lucrative and successful, but in the end...I would still prefer to do it my way.

Well, Donald fired Bradford last night for what he considered a HUGE mistake.

So, what did Bradford do?? Well...let me explain the rules a little bit. If a team wins in the previous week, that team leader is exempt from being fired if they happen to find themselves in the boardroom the following week. Bradford's team won last week and Bradford was the team when they lost this week and he went to the boardroom, he was exempt and couldn't be sent home. Well..until he told Trump that he was proud of his work and his contribution and he would be willing to give up his exempt status.

Well, stupid Ivana brought him into the boardroom....and Trump decided to fire him.

WHY? Grrr.... Well, Trump said that Bradford made the hugest mistake possible by allowing himself to be fired when he had immunity. He said that if he was leading a would be a decision that would crumble it.

Ugh...I couldn't disagree more. What Bradford did...was make himself a true leader and more importantly, a team player. Bradford was showing his team and Trump that he wasn't going to hide behind a loophole to stay in the game...and that he was proud enough of his contribution and his work to be on an even playing field with the rest of his team. Bradford was showing a real sign of strength...and belief in himself and his talents. You would think that would be something that Trump would champion, instead of sending him home because he pissed him off by not taking his "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

I would have done the same thing Bradford did...I would have stood strong with my team in defeat, just as I stood strong with them in victory.


Thursday, September 16, 2004

War in Iraq was illegal....

I caught this article all over the internet...and found it a very interesting read. It's not anything that is new news at all...just surprised at the press it is getting.

Annan says Iraq war was illegal

Take a second to read that article over...and how clearly the UN Secretary talks about how the violence in Iraq is compromising any chance they have of an effective election in January. clearly Annan says that what happened in Iraq should not have happened and that it was more than was illegal. We knew that the United States invaded Iraq without the UN's approval, but it is nice to hear them say that it was clearly a mistake and an illegal move.

Annan said that if the United States was going to invade Iraq, it should have been approved by the 15 members of the UN security council.

Annan indicated that the United States was not conforming with the wishes and orders of the UN with the action in Iraq.

“I hope we don’t see another Iraq-type operation for a long time ... without U.N. approval and much broader support from the international community,” Annan added.

Now...I do wonder if this information is getting out to the majority of those in this country. I would think it would be hard for Bush to clammer about how the military actions made the world a better place...hearing the comments from the UN.

I would also love to see the UN sanction the USA for our actions, but since in unwritten ways we seem to own the UN...I don't see that happening. Bush talked about how Iraq wasn't complying with the UN and it was a major reason for the miliary action...but how are they any better than we are?

Instead of blathering on and about Vietnam and the National Guard...I would like to see John Kerry pay some attention to these comments.

I have made it clear that I never supported this war...for many reasons. But one of them was because it was done against the expressed interests of the United Nations. I couldn't fathom how Bush claimed he was doing this to protect the interests of the UN, while the UN was asking for it not to be done.

Interesting, eh?

P.S. Here is another article all on the mess in Iraq. Read on.

U.S. Intelligence pessimistic on Iraq future


Wednesday, September 15, 2004

sometimes my anxiety rules me....

I just got off the phone with the exec. director of the place I interviewed with last week. You know, the homeless street outreacher job.

She offered me the position. She said that my references just glowed about me...which was wonderful to hear. So, thanks bunches to my references!

She also said she was going to try to get the salary a tad bit higher since I had so much experience with homelessness. That really made me happy to hear...since the salary was incredibly low, especially since I was going to be commuting to the job and how gas prices are these days.

So, she's gonna check out what she can do with the salary and get back to me. It looks like I might be gainfully employed in about a week or so.

I will admit, I am a little be jumping back in and for people to have such a high expectation of me. I hope I enjoy the work...I am just nervous about it. I have to make myself think back to my first days at Horizon House...and how nervous I was there too. And my first days at Shalom...and how jittery I was there. I started to think...that maybe this isn't right...since I was getting all kinds of nervous about it...but in reality, it's just what I do.

So, what is making me nervous about this job:

1. I haven't worked in about 3, jumping back in is a little daunting.
2. A lot of people at this place have mentioned my vast experience...which is great, but it also is pressure. I feel like people expect me to walk in and be brilliant...and in reality, I am gonna be quite a dunce until I get the system, get to know the population here and the organization.
3. When I did outreach was walking and this time it is driving a van. I don't know the city very well where I am going to be working...and I am someone who doesn't really like driving around in a place that I don't know. I can be a nervous driver at times... Add in driving a big ol' van...and well, yep...nervous.

But all in all...I know that this is a great gateway position for me to get back involved in homelessness and social work, but on the east coast. I am just spending time driving myself nuts! looks like I will be a working gal once again. Even with all that nervousness...I am still really looking forward to it.

Cross your fingers for me...that I can accept this job and still have a slightly larger chunk of change to bring home each week as well.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

TV Tuesday Week 23

Hey's time for TV Tuesday again!

Week 23 - Judge shows

Court shows have been around a long, long time. From Judge Wapner and his bailiff Rusty to a tough little lady named Judge Judy there's been a lot of different faces and a lot of cases decided in under 30 minutes.

You're the jury this week, it's your job to see all the evidence and render a verdict!

Judge shows, what do you think?

1. Do you have a favorite judge? Least favorite?
I unfortunately have seen A LOT of these judge shows...from Judge Joe Judge the People's Judge Mills Lane...etc. My mom just loves the judge shows, so I have seen my fair share of them...and I will admit, from time to time they are even mildly entertaining.

My favorite judge would be Judge Milian from the People's Court. I like her...she is spunky and she doesn't talk down to people. She is probably the most enjoyable tv judge to watch...and I have seen bunches of them. She really listens to the people...even when their claims are completely ridiculous and also lets people know when they are wasting her time. I always loved watching the old People's Court when I was a kid...and I think Milian is just as entertaining.

My least favorite judge would be without a doubt Judge Judy. I know she was made famous by that sharp attitude, but it just doesn't work with me. She quickly judges the people in front of her...and not in the way she is supposed to. If someone is not married, but living with their partner...she quickly berates them. If someone dares to have a child out of wedlock...she has even gone as far to call those children mistakes. I think that Judge Judy doesn't judge based on the law...and she often makes some really damning assumptions about the people in front of her.

2. If you were given the chance would you settle a court case on a judge show?
It depends on the case...since if it was something completely embarassing...then, no. I am amazing at what people bring into a court room that they KNOW is going to be on TV. But if it was not something that would shame me to the core...then sure. One, they pay you...and two, I think it would be an interesting experience.

3. What's the silliest case you've ever seen on a judge show?
Well, since I have seen my share of judge would be hard to say. There are some people who are just psychotic and delusional...and you wonder how they function in the real world. But let's see...I guess I will pick a case from yesterday's People's Court. It was this owner of a local restaurant...who was suing one of his waitresses because she never charged the customers for their drinks...she only charged them for their meals. He went back through all her bills and found that 180 times she did not charge for drinks, so he was suing her for like 300 bucks or so. It probably isn't the most outrageous....but jesus man...find something better to do with your time. The guy lost...and Milian told him what an idiot he was suing a college kid for not charging for sodas. I just found it so comical....

~Bonus~ Imagine it, you've got your own show and now you're a judge, what would your show be like?
Hmm...interesting question. I would have a hard time being a TV judge...I guess being a social worker, I see enough of what goes on inside real courtrooms...what important and heartbreaking work is done there. Judge shows are entertaining...but that is it, they aren't real. They aren't something that is significantly going to change anyone's, I guess that is my answer. No TV Judge show for Shelley.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

how old?

I just took this little online, meaningless quiz...where it asks you a bajillion questions and then calculates how long you are going to live! Swanky, eh?

So, what did it say? I am going to live to a ripe old age of 96.6 years. Oh lordie...

If you wanna take the quiz yourself and find out if you should invest in life insurance here.

What famous leader are you?

Hmm, Gandhi? Well...for one, I don't think I could ever live up to the example that Gandhi he was willing to sacrifice so much for what he believed was right and how he was able to see so clearly how to make the world a better, more peaceful place.

Morals do matter to me a huge way. I think that someone having a moral core is one of the most important things in life. I am not sure that there is anything redeemable without it.

I like the idea of leading by means much more than it seems. You can easily tell people what the right thing is to is much harder, but more effective to show people the right way to live by living that way yourself. I often see many people who call themselves leaders...but they seem to be talking out of both sides of their mouth.

But...I do not think perfection is important. In fact, I think the opposite. I think the world is so much more colorful and interesting because of the flaws. I am who I am today, not because of the moments of perfection...but because of the lifetime of flaws.

Gandhi huh? That's a lot to live up to....

9/11 memories....

So, it's been exactly 3 years since Sept 11th, 2001. I imagine much like my parents' generation...where they all remember where they were on the day, the moment that JFK died...what they were doing...I'll always spend at least a moment of any Sept 11th remembering where I was when I heard about the two towers...

I remember being in the car on the way into class and hearing it all on the radio. I remember being shocked that by the time between parking the car and getting onto campus...that the Pentagon was hit. I can remember wondering what would be next...and just completely out of sorts. I can remember having the images of 9/11 all over the TV for what seemed like months...and just never wanting to see those images again.

It at times seems like yesterday and at times seems like it has been decades. The world seems so different now...

But what is interesting...when I am flipping around the channels this afternoon...I am mad at all the TV coverage in remembrance of Sept 11th. At first I didn't know why...and I still am not sure why I have such disdain about the coverage. In some ways, it just doesn't seem genuine to me. I am angry at all the special days that are happening around...which never happened before...and it just seems to be trying to take advantage of 9/11 happening on a Saturday.

I do think it is important that we celebrate and we remember the happiness that resides in this nation of ours...but I get really sensitive when I think that people are trying to use the pain and tragedy of 9/11 for another purpose.

I believe we should all remember that day...and hope to never have to relive it. And...I have already seen another replay of the twin towers burning this morning...and that is not the way I want to remember.

I hope people are finding this day well...and looking forward to tomorrow,


Friday, September 10, 2004

Must See TV

I have always been a fan of Thursday night TV on NBC. I will pretty much watch anything in between Friends and ER. Loved Friends. Love Will & Grace. Loved Scrubs when it was on Thursday nights. I even admit to quite liking The Apprentice. And, I love to top off the evening with ER.

So, like many others...I was sad to see Friends go, even though it was probably the time. I wondered if Thursday would still be Must See TV for me...and I wondered if Joey would be something I loved just as I loved Friends or if I would be disappointed in it.

Joey premiered last night. I had high hopes...and overall, I think it is funny, but right now it is not up to Friends standards. Joey was always one of my favorite characters, so I am open and willing to seeing a show all about Joey and his quirky family.

Things I like about the show:
  • Joey is still the same Joey. His idiotic comments are just as funny...and his obsession with food is always classic.

  • I thought the nephew was cute and should be a nice addition to the story.

  • The idea of Joey passing on 'Nurses' I think is hilarious...since Joey always seems to make the worst choice ever for his career. I do have to wonder how Joey is going to pay the rent...since when he was a struggling actor in NY, he always had Chandler to be his sugar daddy!

  • I loved that they made light references to Friends...and talked about how Joey's life is now different, etc. Every once in a while they allow Joey to not be an idiot...and to say something really poignant.

  • Things I am not so sure about the show:
  • I thought the laugh track was a little too over the top. I felt like they were pushing the audience to laugh at something and it felt really disingenuous. I always tend to notice laugh tracks, but this one just seemed really loud.

  • I am not sure how I feel about Joey's sister right now. Now, she just seems like a walking boob job joke. I hope they break out her character a little more, but right now I am much more interested in the son than the sister right now.

  • I don't like Joey's agent either...not a fan of the actress, never have been...and I much preferred the comic style of his NY agent.

    Overall, I am giving the show a chance. I can also remember not loving Friends in the first few episodes,, I am giving Joey some time to grow. I think it is a really interesting idea and hope that people don't have super high Friends expectations when watching. Just...fix that laugh track...cause when you hear a roaring laugh track and you aren't's noticeable.

    How You Doin??? *giggles* So far...I am liking's still must see tv for me!


  • Thursday, September 09, 2004

    Theater Thursday Week 17

    So, here it is kids...Theater Thursday. This is my first stab at, let's see how it goes!

    Week 17 - And Now For Something Completely Different

    We're going to take a different tack at Theatre Thursday this week.

    You've just been hired to write, cast, direct and produce your own movie. You've been given $75 million to hire a cast and crew, and 90 days to shoot. The film is scheduled to open a year and 1/2 from today.

    1) What is the name of your movie?

    The title of my movie would be 30 Days of Love

    2) Who are the stars you hire?
    Oooh...well, that's a tough one. Let's see...doesn't everyone who writes, produces and directs their own movie do it so that they can star in it themselves? At least that is what I learned from movies like Good Will Hunting and Garden State. So, I think the movie should star the one who gets to have her 30 days of love! And who should the rest of the cast be? Well, I would love to tap into the View Askew know the likes of Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, etc... And I have some other people who I absolutely adore their talent and would like to find a place for them in the film. People like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ally Sheedy, Martha Plimpton, Ron Livingston and of course Edward Norton.

    Affleck would be my dreamy love interest...and the rest of the View Askew kids (Smitty and Lee)would be his wise ass friends. Hoffman and Martha would be my characters friends...who often have a callous and city outlook on life....not really the touchy feely types. Ally would be the wise and often too honest older sister of mine. And finally, Livingston and Norton would be a former loves of my character.

    Pretty much the idea of creating my own Kevin Smith something I am going for here. Plus, putting Kevin in the film...i'd get all his creative advice, etc.

    3) What is the general plot/style/theme of your dream movie?
    The plot is that the main know, the one I would play...she has been reckless and careless with love in the past. She's been the love 'em and leave 'em type to such a degree...that in some cosmic way, there is now a curse on her. Now, she can be carelessly in love as long as she wants, but once whoever she is dating says those magic words, "I love you" then she only has 30 more days with him before that love turns sour. On the 31st day, that guy will wake up and not only fall out of love, but that love will turn to disdain and even hate. So, the main character...falls for that one great guy, you know Mr. Affleck, and has to try everything she can to get him to NOT say those three little words...and once he does, she is running against the clock....trying everything she can to break this curse before it is too late.

    I know, it is classic romantic comedy blah...but I just love the idea of it. Maybe I have seen too many people who just abuse love and throw it away...only to learn years later that they sacrificed love way too much.

    Feel free to dream - what movie would you, Gentle Reader, like to make yourself with all those resources? It can be autobiographical, historical, or completely fictional. Be careful and don't go overbudget (Getting Harrison Ford, Julia Roberts, and Robin Williams all in the same film won't leave you enough money to actually shoot, nor will on-location filming on Mars likely leave anything for actors).

    BONUS) What's one obstacle you see that could prevent you from achieving this dream movie?

    Let's just say that the whole idea of it all would be an obstacle and leave it at that. But really...the biggest obstacle would be the cast. I think it is a little huge, but no one is a huge name. And...if you get Kevin on board, then you can pretty much get any of the View Askew kids for a bargain. I just plan on leaning on Smitty's guidance, wisdom and his connections in the business to get this film done! And that solves huge obstacle number two...that I have no idea how to direct or how to put an idea into a, I am hoping to get Smitty to help with fact, I would love to give the directing job over to Kevin, etc...

    Now..everyone's Thursday, so make with the Theater and answer these questions!


    Wednesday, September 08, 2004

    potential news on the job front...

    So...on Tuesday I went for a job interview for a position doing homeless street outreach. The interview went really well and they asked me back tonight to go on a ride along in the outreach van. I spent about an hour out with two of the team members. It reminded me a lot of the work I did in Indianapolis. It won't be a perfect job...I will have to commute about 45 minutes to work everyday and the pay isn't great...but this is work I know well and work I really enjoy.

    When I left...the exec. director told me that I was the top candidate and she was really happy I was interested in the job. She told me that she was checking my references and hopes to be able to offer me the position. The only hiccup might be...that I have gotten two speeding tickets in my driving history, so she hopes that the insurance guy doesn't have a heart attack when he hears that. She thinks that one is old enough that it won't even show up on my record, let's hope.

    It was nice to hear her talk about how she was impressed with my work record and also impressed with my passion and knowledge about the issue of homelessness.

    *crosses fingers*

    I am sick of not working...I need to get myself back out there. I am bored with myself already!

    Happy Wednesday everyone...


    Tuesday, September 07, 2004

    TV Tuesday Week 22

    It's it is time for TV Tuesday.

    Week 22 - Kid Shows

    1. When you were a kid what was (or is if you're still a kid LOL) your favorite show?
    Well, I think my answer would have to be Punky Brewster. I just loved that show and yep, I desperately wanted to be as cool as Punky. A close second would be "You Can't Do That On Television" on know that show where they did quirky skits and dumped water and slime on people all the time! Now that is good TV!

    2. What is the silliest kids show you've ever seen? (You can use stupidest, most outrageous, worst, etc if you prefer!)
    I am having a hard time thinking of one, but one thing that had to do with kids that I thought was ridiculous was the Fear Factor Family Edition. I mean...I think it is acceptable and even entertaining at times to make adults do ridiculous things in order to win some cash, but when you do it to is just horribly wrong.

    3. If you could be any character in a kids show (past or present) who would you be? Why?
    I wanted to be Ricky Schroder on "Silver Spoons" so I could ride around that huge house on a train...

    ~Bonus~ This one is kind of for the adults and parents out there. Do you feel kids shows have changed for the better or worse since you were a kid?
    I think like much of TV in general out there, it is getting worse. I think that there is often too much adult information in kids shows...and they just aren't as innocent as they used to be. But then again, I can't say I watch kids programs anymore...I should ask a friend of mine who is obsessed with Spongebob Sqaurepants!


    Monday, September 06, 2004

    20 Million Loud....

    So, MTV has this campaign to try to bring the issues of the election to the young know, those who watch MTV by doing numerous specials called Choose or Lose:20 Million Loud.

    Well...I just finished watching one of those specials where they showed both Bush and Kerry on the campaign trail. It showed both candidates on their nation-wide tour and then finished with an interview with the both of them....

    No interview with John Kerry and then an interview with John McCain. I guess Bush was too busy to talk to the one of the largest mediums when it comes to the youth vote. And MTV did make the point to say that they invited Bush to speak with him and he would not make himself available and sent McCain instead. Interesting...

    You can read the transcript of what both had to say on MTV's website....but here were what I considered to be highlights of both of their interviews:

    Question to John McCain: Why do you think a young person should vote for a Bush White House for another four years?

    McCain: Because of President Bush's leadership after September 11th. You know, in case there's a serious war, it ain't going to be an old geezer like me that goes to fight it, it's going to be our [young people]. And we need to stay out of a war, and the best way we can stay out of a war is having strong leadership and good people.

    Umm....I am sorry, but WHAT? Am I mistaken that President Bush's leadership after 9/11 was to bring us into a war??? That answer just makes no sense to me. McCain is right...we do need to stay out of war, but unfortunately...we are already too late for that.

    And a Kerry highlight from the broadcast...

    Question to John Kerry: Do you think another terrorist attack is inevitable?

    John Kerry: The likelihood is that there will be another terrorist attack, sure. You can't harden every target in America. If someone wants to kill themselves, it's not hard to find a way and a place to do that somehow. The test is whether or not we've done everything possible, executed all the options available to us to make America as safe as possible. I don't believe we've done that today. Our ports are not as secure as they should be. We're not inspecting as many containers as we should to deter problems. We don't have the firehouses with the complement of staff they ought to have, we're cutting cops from the American streets. We don't have the protection of power plants, nuclear and chemical [facilities] that we ought to have. So there's more that we can do to protect America, and I think this president diverted the focus of homeland security and the war on terror in Afghanistan and we're paying an incredible price for that.

    I thought that was a really brave and honest say that in all likelihood terrorists are going to continue trying in the future. Now, I can't picture Bush saying the same thing. I also liked Kerry emphasizing the things that we need to do in order to protect our country from another attack...knowing that the enemies of the United States are going to continue to try. I firmly believe that Kerry is right and the choices that we are paying a very high price for how Bush and Co. have chosen to fight the war on terror.

    Now..there was a lot more than just those two, please check out the website or better yet, catch a rebroadcast of the Choose or Lose special.

    It will be on again at:

    Tues 9/7 at 9:30am
    Wed 9/8 at 6:30pm
    Thurs 9/9 at 10:00am
    Sat 9/11 at 2:30am
    Sat 9/11 at 6:30am
    Sun 9/12 at 11:30am
    Mon 9/13 at 11:00am


    tennish shmennish....

    I spent a lot of my day today watching tennis on TV...not being productive outside and actually playing tennis, but watching it.

    Tennis is one of my favorite sports...I wish I could play it better than I can.

    I watched Andre Agassi play...who is by far my favorite tennis player ever. He has the skills and is just an all around nice guy. Plus, he is the oldest player on the circuit and is still a force to be reckoned with. I hope he can win it all...but he has a tough match ahead of him with Federer, the #1 seed. Good luck Andre!

    Then, I watched Lindsay Davenport play against Venus Williams. I love Lindsay too...she is a great player and just sweet as can be. And, I will admit...I do not like Venus. I think that she is chuck full of attitude and often is a poor sport. So, I was really rooting for Lindsay. And I am happy to say...she won in two sets. She had been playing so well this summer, so I am hoping she can win it all.

    Me likes my tennis...and I hope the rain coming from that pesky hurricane Frances doesn't completely rain out the second week of the US Open.

    Go Andre!
    Go Lindsay!

    I hope everyone enjoyed their Labor Day...


    Saturday, September 04, 2004

    added some stuff....

    I am quite proud of myself...if I do say so. I used to not be able to code or do anything html wise, so when I teach myself something new...I am pretty pleased with myself.

    I am using a blogspot template...and I was kind of bummed that it didn't have a place for links or a place for a blogroll, etc. I was contemplating emailing my lovely friend Jen for some help since she has some mad skills...but instead, I fiddled around on the computer...looked at people's source code and figured it out myself. I figured that Jen might have her hands full with a hurricane or two right now! *winks*

    First...I figured out WHAT I need to write...and then I was plagued with the next question as to where to put this mumbo jumbo in all that code that Blogspot already has them. After a few trial and errors...I was able to figure it out.

    So now I have a LINKS and a BLOGROLL section. I am a happy happy cat! I love it when I am able to figure things out.

    Oh...and I also figured out how to post a link and have it open in a new window. I always knew that could be done, but didn't know how. It's amazing what you can figure out if you look around enough...and have enough time to play with it and get it wrong a few times.

    So, feel free to give me a round of applause...and a pat on the back...for yes, what I know is elementary html coding!!!


    P.S. I am still working on my, if you wanna be there...then, send me an email and your name will be added. And more importantly...if you see your name there and prefer that it would not...send an email and I will take it right off.

    Enjoy the holiday weekend all...

    Friday, September 03, 2004

    Bush at RNC last night...

    So, I did watch Bush give his acceptance speech at the RNC last night. I decided to give some responses to some of the things he had to say. I will say, regretfully...that it was a good speech and would be an effective speech...if you didn't know the facts. I worry about middle america who doesn't really care about politics...moreso can't stand politics. I worry that they are going to take Bush at his words, even when the facts and evidence are not on his side. I worry wholeheartedly about that....

    So, I decided to quote what Bush said right from his own site no one could say that I am taking a democratic spin at what he had to say. I will have Dubya's quote in italics and my response below it...

    "I believe every child can learn, and every school must teach -- so we passed the most important federal education reform in history."

    No, he didn't. Let me say he didn't. The No Child Left Behind all rhetoric and no action. It didn't help children...because it is shallow and just words. It is underfunded and therefore unaffective. It gives the Bush administration the ability to say that they care about education...without actually doing anything practical about it. Ask someone you know who is a teacher what they think about No Child Left Behind and trust me...all they will tell you about is how that act just leaves child after child behind.

    "To create more jobs in America, America must be the best place in the world to do business."

    Really? Then why do you give money and tax loopholes to companies which move to overseas markets.

    "Another priority in a new term will be to help workers take advantage of the expanding economy to find better, higher-paying jobs."

    Really? Where are these high paying jobs again?

    "So we will double the number of people served by our principal job training program and increase funding for community colleges. I know that with the right skills, American workers can compete with anyone, anywhere in the world."

    I am amazing at just how much Bush doesn't get it...or more likely, hopes we don't get it. It isn't about job training...which of course, is something that would be wonderful. Does he actually think job training is what will make us competitive in the world market? It doesn't matter how much training you have...if you can't compete with the wages that international companies offer. We could be the best trained in the world...but if a company needs to decide between an American worker who makes $8 an hour...or an international worker who makes 16 cents a day...who are they going to pick? The economy won't be solved...for those Americans who are losing jobs to international companies through job training.

    "In these areas, we'll provide tax relief and other incentives to attract new business, and improve housing and job training to bring hope and work throughout all of America."

    This will be a running theme in my response...I support this, but I am doubtful that it will actually happen. Why hasn't Bush even moved on this in the past 4 years? Did he suddenly figure this out or is this just another campaign promises that he will not keep? Bush made almost the same claims 4 years ago...and low income housing and job training has diminished under the Bush administration.

    "As I've traveled the country, I've met many workers and small business owners who have told me they are worried they cannot afford health care. More than half of the uninsured are small business employees and their families. In a new term, we must allow small firms to join together to purchase insurance at the discounts available to big companies."

    Bush has taken Kerry to task for his initiatives and how he is going to pay for them...and so, I must ask him how he plans on paying for this. At least Kerry and Edwards mentioned a plan on how they would pay for their initiatives. I heard a lot of plans for Bush...which many of them were the same plans from 4 years ago (which never happened), but Bush didn't talk about how the bill for all these plans was going to be paid. I think it would be great if small businesses were assisted in getting health insurance for their workers. I worked for a small non-profit...and was not able to get health insurance because of it. But, that is an expensive endeavor...not something that is an easily done as Bush indicated. And...I prefer Kerry's plan on a comprehensive plan to provide health care to all people in this nation, not just adding another segment that you care about and want to insure. Kerry has spoken about how Congress gets spectacular health insurance and he is dedicated to not have the elected officials get better health care than its people.

    And we will provide low-income Americans with better access to health care: In a new term, I will ensure every poor county in America has a community or rural health center.

    I have to chuckle at this and then become scared by it. I am scared that those who do not know...might think this is actually a solution. I think Bush might actually think it is too. Those clinics...are so understaffed, under-funded that they don't help much of anyone. They are just used as crisis centers because they don't have the capacity to offer comprehensive care. Additionally, the usually wait at the local clinic in Bloomington where i used to live...was close to a month. And that is the norm...not the exception. The health care crisis of the poor will not be solved by a community center. It might be a nice sound byte on the evening news, but it isn't anything that is bringing comprehensive health care to some of the most vulnerable in this country.

    "To make health care more affordable and accessible, we must pass medical liability reform now. And in all we do to improve health care in America, we will make sure that health decisions are made by doctors and patients, not by bureaucrats in Washington, DC."


    "Because a caring society will value its weakest members, we must make a place for the unborn child."

    So, Bush wants to get bureaucrats out of health care decisions when it comes to liability insurance and practices, but in the same speech he talks about welcoming those politicians and bureaucrats right back in when it comes to reproductive rights. You can't have it both ways Mr. Bush...or at least you shouldn't be able to.

    "In this time of change, government must take the side of working families. In a new term, we will change outdated labor laws to offer comp-time and flex-time. Our laws should never stand in the way of a more family-friendly workplace."

    If government really wanted to take the side of working families when it comes to labor laws, it would take stand of a universal living wage. That is something Bush will never touch. Comp time would be nice, but what would be humane is to have wages and conditions that made it so that families could work no more than 40 hours a week and still be able to provide for their families.

    "Thanks to our policies, homeownership in America is at an all-time high."

    What policies? No, thanks to a low interest rate home ownership is at an alltime high.

    "America's children must also have a healthy start in life. In a new term, we will lead an aggressive effort to enroll millions of poor children who are eligible but not signed up for the government's health insurance programs. We will not allow a lack of attention, or information, to stand between these children and the health care they need."

    I agree...and where has this been for the past 4 years? Bush has shown through his first administration that issues like this is something he cares about during election time and then immediately forgets about once elected. Also, how is Bush going to afford this? I have seen cuts in children's health insurance programs. Additionally, it often is not lack of attention or information that keeps children out of these is a rigid system that drops people from the program and asks questions wait, never asks questions at all.

    "Because family and work are sources of stability and dignity, I support welfare reform that strengthens family and requires work."

    That sentence just pisses me off. It makes the assumption that those on welfare would prefer not to work. I would like Bush to have to live the life of someone on welfare for a while and just see how he feels about it then. Welfare does need to be reformed, but in ways that help those find a sustaining way of life, instead of the reforms which seem more punishing in nature.

    "Because the union of a man and woman deserves an honored place in our society, I support the protection of marriage against activist judges. And I will continue to appoint federal judges who know the difference between personal opinion and the strict interpretation of the law."

    I didn't know that marriage was under attack? In reality, what Bush and the right is not honoring the union of a man and a woman. Bush is concerned with taking away the rights of Americans with reckless abandon. This to me, is just as unjust when laws were made limiting the rights of other oppressed groups. I can feel a revolution coming...but, I hope it is not too late. And, I have to mention that Bush proclaims not wanting to appoint federal judges who use personal opinion, seems like he liked people using personal opinion and not the law when they stopped the vote count in Florida. Once again, you should not be able to have it both ways.

    Bush spoke more about terrorism...and the war, but I just don't have the heart to comment on it right now. People know how I feel about the war, Bush's misleading nature and how I feel that the nation and the world is more in danger than ever.

    I just ask people to look at what Bush had to say with a critical eye. To look at the programs he has said are part of his plan. Wonder why those programs haven't even started to come into place in the past four years? Wonder how Bush plans on funding these programs he speaks of, as well as a full fledge war and a trip to Mars? Just take a strong look at both candidates. Make your choice and no matter what you choose...go to the polls on election day. It is more important now than ever.

    Phew...can't write anymore. My heart hurts.


    It's Friday and it is time for feasting!

    This week's Friday Feast is here it is. I thought after the "Bush is the devil and I am voting for Kerry" manifesto...we needed a little lightness and merriment.

    If someone gave you 3 new goldfish today, what would you name them?
    Well...since I have a habit of killer goldfish...I should just name them all doomed. But seriously...I think I would name them Ani (for Ani Difranco...she does sing about goldfish and all...), Pez (yep, like the candy), and Hope (in hopes that I don't kill em like I have killed all the rest!).

    What's the worst movie you've seen this year so far? was a rental, but the answer to that is Monster's Ball. I thought it was just dreadful...and am awestruck as to why Halle won the Oscar for Best Actress. Ick. Patoohey. Bleck.

    If given the chance and you could pick the person, would you want to switch lives with someone on earth for one whole day?
    Oooh...well, at first I was going to say someone like Julia Roberts...mainly because I wonder what it must feel like to be in her shoes and to live in a constant fishbowl. But nah...instead, I would either pick George Bush or Michael Moore. Seriously...I would pick Dubya because for one day...if I could live in that head of his and understand how his mind works...maybe I could understand what has happened to this country. And Moore because...while I think he is extremist...I would love to just tap into what makes Michael who he is...and maybe bring that back with me to my life at the end of the switcheroo day.

    Main Course
    What's your favorite season? Name 2 things you love about it.
    My favorite season is fall. I love many things about it. the distinct change...the smell in the air when fall is amongst us. I love how the air is just so crisp...and kinda cool. I also love how beautiful it is when fall comes...especially those leaves...since I am in foilage country and all.

    What is something you frequently buy that you don't really need?
    Oooh...that's a tough one for me...since I honestly don't buy much that I don't need. Well...I rent a lot of movies...and I don't need that, but I enjoy, that is as good as it gets for me when it comes to splurges.

    Til next Friday....


    Thursday, September 02, 2004

    A vote for Kerry....

    I am voting for John Kerry...and I plan on taking the next few paragraphs to explain why. I imagine it isn't a surprise to anyone who knows me...that my votes resides with Kerry. I also imagine it isn't a surprise that even if a perfect stranger happened upon my site...and just read the first sentence of my profile...where I state I am social worker...that they would be surprised I am voting for John Kerry.

    So, why am I voting for Kerry? it is.

    1. My one part is not a vote for John Kerry, but a vote against George W. Bush. If it was my choice, Kerry would not be his opponent. I would much prefer voting for Howard Dean, but that choice was taken away from me and the nation by a ridiculous reaction to a hyper yell. But...I digress. I don't think John Kerry is sunshine and roses....but I do think that his vision for the country and the democratic party are what this country needs. I think the damage that has been done to this country and the world needs to be stopped...and not allowed to continue for 4 more years.

    2. The war. I am anti-war...not anti-soldier..but anti-war. Should we be in Iraq? Should our soldiers be dying everyday? Should we be doing something which is not fighting terror but feeding it? No. No. No. I know others disagree...and that is what makes this country wonderful...that we are allowed and encouraged to voice differing opinions. But...I cannot support an administration that sends our troops...our sons and daughters to battle under false pretenses. Yes, the world is a better place with Saddam out of question, but I happen to believe the end does not justify the means. Now...John Kerry won't stop this war once he is elected...because it is too late, but Kerry already fought one un-winnable war...and it seems like he has learned a lifetime from, I trust him to make the most humane decisions for this country. I don't expect him to hide behind order to coax the country into doing what he wants.

    3. I kind of alluded to it in the last reason...but, I am sick and tired of Bush using 9/11 as a tactic. He used it to get the people behind this war...pulling on the 9/11 heart strings and telling people that he is fighting this war on terror. He made false links between Saddam and Osama...just to make this about 9/11...when it wasn't. And it has continued on the campaign trail. Bush is using 9/11 as a selling point...he is using people's pain and tragedy in hopes of increasing a few points on the polls. I am personally disgraced by it. Bush didn't plan 9/11...but he sure jumped to capitalize on it.

    4. The economy stupid! Look at the shape this country is in right now??? People are out of jobs...and those that are replacing them don't cut it. Bush talks about all those jobs that his administration has created...well...they don't cut it. Good paying jobs have been lost...and have been replaced by minimum wage work. Factories are continuing to close and head overseas for cheap labor...and those factory workers are now having to take a huge pay cut (averging 66%) to now say, "Would you like fries with that?" And let's talk about out time you call for tech assistance on your computer...or your telephone can bet that you will be talking to someone from another country. The person who used to have that job...was eliminated for the all mighty buck. Kerry has made strong claims against out sourcing...saying it is not the answer for this country and all it does is strengthen the wealthy business owner while putting the former employees into higher levels of poverty. Oh yes...and Bush loves to say that unemployment is down. Well, that is a shallow and misleading statistic. Someone can only stay on unemployment for...6 months I believe...and then they are dropped from the program. Well...the stats from those receiving unemployment assistance are the only ones which GWB is, for high poverty areas which have been hit by lay offs...those people are often dropping from unemployment, but they are still unemployed. It's all smoke and mirrors....and the next time GWB and Co. tells you how much better the economy is and lists of a bunch of stats...look around your the closest food pantry or soup kitchen...and ask them if their numbers are going down or UP?

    5. Dubya's values...and how he puts them on the nation's agenda. Bush single handedly is making the issue of same sex marriage something that he must smoke out. He declared that same sex marriage must be abolished with a constitutional amendment...when in reality, it isn't in his power to do so. He is hell bent on denying the rights to people...instead of doing something to strenghten this country. Instead of fighting the institutional problems of homelessness or poverty...he must fight those gays trying to unite with someone they love. George Bush does not share my values...nor the values which I see for the nation.

    6. The Patriot Act. John Kerry has spoken out against key portions of the Patriot Act. Those parts which go far beyond protecting us...and infringe on our rights. Remember that part about the great thing about this nation...that we had rights...and could speak out against tyranny. Well...the Patriot Act puts much of that into question. Parts are good, but it is all marred by the damaging parts. In my opinion...the terrorists are winning if we continue with things along the lines of the Patriot Act.

    7. Bush arresting two protesters at a speech he was giving. A man and a woman went to a public appearance by GWB...and wore T-shirts that were not in support of the President. It was a t-shirt with the word Bush on it with a circle and a line through it. The two individuals were asked to leave...and when they said they had tickets and were allowed to be there...they were arrested and charged with criminal trespass. When asked who had them arrested...they were told it was the secret service. I will not support a President who does not allow its people to speak out for and against his administration. He is cowardice...and more importantly...he is dangerous.

    You see...GWB does scare me. It terrifies me to think of 4 more years of Bush...and what the nation and the world will look like when he is done. There are probably a million more reasons why I am voting for John Kerry...but mostly, because I cannot accept another 4 years under Bush's misleadership. I am not an Anyone But Bush person...because our nation deserves more than that...but at the same of the biggest reasons that I am voting for John Kerry is that he is not Bush...and he doesn't stand for the things that W stands for.

    I stand proud and strong in my choice for the next President...and I pray to something that the nation in November agrees with me.

    Off to watch the RNC and Bush's speech...and by then, I will probably have many more reasons to add to this list.

    Ta ta for now...


    Wednesday, September 01, 2004

    another promising bit of hope....

    So, I sent out three resumes on Monday...and so far have gotten a call back for 2 out of 3 of them. I have an interview next Tuesday for a job....that in all honesty, pays HORRIBLY...but I know I would really enjoy and that I am really qualified for...if not uber-over qualified for.

    It's doing homeless street outreach again...and if anyone knew me then, I LOVED that job. I got paid horribly then too...but it didn't seem to matter. And...if I need to, I can live with my parents for a while longer and not have to worry about the shabby salary.

    So, we'll see...but I am definitely not feeling as hopeless.

    And...I am quite psyched about hearing from two places so soon.

    Who knows what this will bring....only time will tell.

    Last week...when I was having the restless nights and all...I was starting to re-think my idea to leave my job. I was starting to think it was a huge mistake. I was starting to think that maybe I should have stayed in the job I had there. least I would have a nice salary at a job that I don't exactly enjoy. Maybe I should have stuck it out until I found another job offer....and that just leaving might have been hash and something I was going to regret. was nervousness...and even if I NEVER get a job...I know I did the right thing. I left a job that I wasn't appreciated at...and that I wasn't able to be a social worker. It's something that no matter what the salary was...wasn't worth it.

    I will find my way back...and in good time.



    What were they thinking?

    So, I watched a lot of the Olympics....and this guy wins the asshat of the year award.

    Cornelius Irish priest ran out during the middle of the men's marathon, tackled the guy in the lead and pushed him into the crowd.

    The link I put what bothers me most. The guy was sentenced for one year...and that sentence was suspended and only fined $3,600. I think that is ridiculous...this man decided to interrupt a man's Olympic dream to spout off about his own political agenda.

    AND...what bothers me most....this isn't the first time he has done this. He seems to think that interrupting sports events is the best way to get his point across. He ran onto the track of the British Grand Prix last year...causing the cars to swerve around him on the track...while they were going 200+ miles an hour. He also protested at Wimbeldon...and has tried to disrupt rugby matched and the like.

    So, it seems like this guy is not getting the message that what he is doing is wrong....and what did the courts do by not sentencing him and giving him actual consequences...well, they just assured him that he can keep doing it.

    And...I can't help but remember some silly shmuck who jumped into the pool at the Olympics to impress his wife and promote his website...and he was sentenced to 5 MONTHS! Did this guy actually stop someone from possibly winning the medal they deserve? Nope...but he's been sentenced to spend time behind bars. He's appealing....but still.

    *shakes head*

    Sometimes I am overwhelmed at how broken this world is....