Tuesday, February 28, 2006

i heart nick!

I watch Project Runway...not cause I care about designers or clothing or anything. I just love the drama of it all...and the drama queen attitude of many of the designers on the show. I have been a faithful watcher since season one. I was happy Jay won...until he actually won...and now suddenly he seems to have an ego that won't fit in the room. And season two...my fav from day one...Nick Verreos. He is just a great guy...great sense of fashion...quick little one liners...and he has a smile that I just love. So, I will say...since Nick got sent home two episodes ago, it hasn't been nearly as entertaining for me to watch. It just seems like a lackluster show now with Nick gone. *pouts* I only continue to watch now...in hopes of seeing Santino lose...BIG TIME!

So...this is my fairwell to Nick...the one who really should have won Project Runway. Why? Cause he's talented. Cause he's nice. Cause he's funny. Cause he's sassy! Cause he is so cute...so adorable. I miss ya Nick!

Week 7+8 Weigh-In: I know, I suck!

I didn't post last week...I kept meaning to, but then just didn't. I feel like the last week and a half have just flown by...and honestly, I haven't had much control during it either.

Week 7 Weigh-In: I lost one whole pound...and that is shocking. I fully expected to either stay the same or gain. Cause well...I didn't really stay on plan. My brother was in town...so I spent a lot of time with the fam...which meant eating pizza with them...eating out at Olive Garden...and then having taco and burrito night...and eating way more than one person should. Also...didn't workout like I was supposed to. Overall...suckage was happening....so, when I lost a pound...shocked the hell out of me.

Week 8 Weigh-In: I didn't lose a damn bit...didn't gain either. Once again, I was shocked. I expected to gain something...if not a few somethings. I was not in control at all this week. If I was a drinker...I would have said I was on a bender all week long. And..keeping with that analogy, many mornings...I felt like I had a food hangover. I would wake up feeling full...feeling sluggish and just crappy. Mainly...because I didn't work out...AT ALL. Not even my walks for the walking challenge. I have never got gotten those in before. And...I ate crap. I eat almost a whole pizza...bad Shelley, bad. I ate Cadbury Mini Eggs. Bad!! I ate even after I wasn't hungry. All that stuff I KNEW was bad...I did...over and over again. And once I started with the badness...it seemed like I couldn't get it back. In fact...as I am writing this on Tuesday, I am still not back on track. I caught a cold...and it seemed to give me the excuse I needed to keep eating crap and not working out...like I know I should.

So, it's time to refocus...and get back to all that stuff that was working for me. In the first month of weight loss...I lost 12 pounds. Since then, I have lost 2 freakin' pounds. Yes, I didn't gain anything back...but obviously i have lost that intensity and steam that I had. I need that steam back...I know how much I want this...so, here I go!

I am going to use lent...as my motivation. I am usually pretty good about committing to things, especially when I have something I am working towards. So, for lent...I am giving up chocolate...not one piece of chocolate will touch my lips during the lent period. That means no Cadbury Mini Eggs...hear that evil mini eggs! And...I am giving up pizza. I will not have any pizza during lent...no matter how much I want it. Say goodbye pizza...your cheesy goodness is gone.

So, tomorrow...I will refocus...get back to working out...and get back to eating the foods that make me feel good, instead of making me feel like a sluggish tub of goo.

*winks* Wish me luck....

Thursday, February 16, 2006


You know, I have some great friends...I really do. I am pretty sure I would not have been as understanding as my friends have been with me in the past years.

Sometimes...I get into these modes of just not keeping in contact. I am not malicious in doing it...I just do it. I don't return emails...I don't return phone calls. I think about these friends often...I just don't actively do anything about it. It's been a problem I have had for years....well, maybe decades.

I wanna say I don't know why...but I know why. It's that pesky struggling self esteem that I sometimes have. I love these friends. I know they love me...and want to hear from me. But there is something...sometimes so terrifying with picking up the phone and putting myself out there...with people I love and trust. How messed up is that? But I do it...often. I am flawed and often broken.

So yes...these two friends in particular. They both have written me...emails...and actual letters...with stamps...and pictures, etc. And, I didn't respond....no email back...no letter back....no phone call. Nada. I probably have been out of contact for 6 months...if not more. Within the last 24 hours...both friends have called to "check up" with me...and give me a little hard time for "hiding out" on them.

And then...they moved on...starting chatting and kept on loving and supporting me...and my dysfunctional lack of contact. I really don't think I would have been that cool about it....I have one friend who hasn't called me back for about a year...we went to middle school together...known each other forever. So, I am going to follow my amazing friends lead...and call her and just say hello and that I miss her.

It's just nice...I am reminded at the amazing friendships I have...and just feel really loved. I don't think those two friends read here...but if they do, know that I adore you...and I thank you. And I promise...to not go hiding again, but I know if I do...you'll still love me.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

psst....I hate hockey!

I said in an earlier post....that my brother is home from Florida for about a week. Well, my brother loves the hockey. He decided that we should go to a local hockey game last night....and so we went. And yep...I don't like the hockey. I think it is sad how the crowd cheers when there is a fight or when someone gets knocked down and hurt. Plus, the sport is such a tease...it is constantly getting down near the goal just to have the other team get control of the puck. And...there are some cute boys skating around, but with all that padding...it is often hard to see them and all their hotness. But all in all...my brother had a great time. Our local team lost at the very end...but oh well.

And...the funniest thing of the whole night was these three college boys a couple of row behind me. In the middle of the second period, one of them says to the other about as loud as possible. "Hey did you hear? Dick Cheney shot some dude in the face?" My brother and I laughed for about 2 minutes straight.

*yawns* And so begins another day....

Monday, February 13, 2006

Week 6 Weigh-In: The Dreaded Pizza Incident

Hey there...it is officially week 6 of this new lifestyle, weight loss shindig that I have been doing. I was all in a funk this morning...and contemplating not posting a weekly update, etc. Mainly because I was being a super-sensitive baby...and whining that I haven't gotten one comment on any of the weigh in posts that I have written. I started to whine and wonder why I am writing them. But then I got over myself...and realized that I write them for me. I wrote them years ago...on a blog that I knew no one read. I like writing a weekly update. I like being accountable to something and having to say out loud how well I did...or didn't do. And...I am not writing this...so people will feel obligated to comment. I'm not. I'm good now...and I couldn't care less if people comment. See...I am growing all the time.

So, here is the official weekly update. I lost one pound this last week...for a total loss of 13 lbs. I am a little upset that it is only one pound. Why? Because I had broken one of my rules and weighed myself throughout the week...and on Saturday I was down 3 whole pounds. But...then on Sunday, I spent the day with my family and had pizza for dinner. I tried that new cheesy bites pizza from Pizza Slut. And well...the garlic, yummy, cheesy, doughey goodness....was good. And I didn't do all that bad...I only ate 2 pieces...and some extra cheesy bites off someone else's pizza. And...I know I didn't eat 2 pounds worth of weight gain, so that weight will come off, just not in time for my weigh in. And...I was spending time with my parents and my brother (who is in town from Florida). And this thing is about a lifestyle change...not an uber strict diet, so I am NOT going to beat myself up over this. I still wanted to say I lost three pounds this week though. *pouts*

Things I did well this week:

1. I actually increased my calories....no, not just on the pizza day! *winks* I had been eating about 1200-1350 calories everyday. And I realized that with all the working out I had been doing...something 10 workouts a week...I probably wasn't getting enough calories. So, I ate at least 1500 calories every single day...never any less. I usually range between 1500 and 1700. I was happy about that...and on some days...1500 calories was SO much food.

2. I bought a new elliptical machine this weekend. My treadmill died on Friday night...and instead of using it as an excuse to not workout...I used it as an excuse to get the elliptical machine like I have always wanted. It was a bitch to put together...and thanks for my dad for doing it for me. But now...I can run on my very own elliptical machine! whoo hoo for me.

Things I need to do Better:

1. Stop weighing myself all the time. There. Said it. Now...do it!

2. I need to get back to Power 90. I only did Power 90 for 2 days last week...not because I was busy...or because I was working a lot. I only worked out 2 days because of sheer laziness. So, my goal is to still be fleixible with Power 90, but also maintain a loyalty to it. I am going to workout with the program at LEAST 4 times a week...and strive for 6 if I can. And...since I haven't done it consistently for 2 weeks...and I am starting the 90 workouts all over again. Today...I finished workout #1!

Ok...that's the week in a nutshell. I didn't do horribly...but in a couple of areas, I definitely got a wake up call. Oh...and about the pizza. One good thing...I can tell I am not used to eating food that greasy anymore since my body just felt horrible for the last 24 hours. All that cheese and fat and grease...just sat in my stomach like a rock. So, in many ways....it reminded me of why I am on the good path...and not the path lined with pizza goodness.

Ta ta....

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


My workday was well...interesting. I wish I could go more into detail...cause it is a pretty interesting story, but you know...confidentiality and all. I should have all my clients sign releases for my blog as well...that would make it a lot easier, eh? lol All I will say is that it wasn't interesting in a bad way per se...just interesting.

And...I had a dieting yippee moment today. There is a co-worker who has been out on maternity leave, so I haven't really seen her for about 2 months. We chatted briefly this morning...and then when I passed by her office later in the morning, she said..."Have you lost weight? You definitely look thinner."

That really felt great...because it is someone who said something who didn't know I was losing weight or on a diet. So, she didn't say it out of th obligation because I am on a diet. It just confirms for me...that people are noticing out there in the real world. And...I know I am beginning to look different. My sweaters are looser...and my pants which used to be almost too tight...and are almost too loose.

It's a nice feeling all around...and just the motivation I need to keep on keeping on.

Now admit it....you just can't stop thinking about how my day was interesting! I knew it! *cackles*

Monday, February 06, 2006

Week 5 Weigh-In: Dead Tired...but still kicking!

Week 5 already, eh? It doesn't really feel like it has been a month at this. I guess that's a good sign...right?

So, this last week...I took the whole week off of Power 90. You have no idea how hard that was for me...mentally. I even got my socks and sneaker on to get a Power 90 workout in on Saturday, etc...and I made myself stop. It was a nice break physically though....because I am not sure I would have made it through this week if I had to fit in 6 additional exercises.

Let's see...the results this week. The good...the bad...the in between. In terms of weight loss, I lost 1 pound this week for a grand total of 12 pounds since the first of the year. I couldn't be more pleased about losing this week...since I thought I would remain the same...if not gain a smidge.

The bad...well, let's see. I haven't been the best this week. There were some days that my calorie counting got away from me. I think not working out so much...allowed me extra time to think about all those snacks in the cupboards. It wasn't horrible snacking...just not my usual snacking.

Well...last night was horrible snacking. I don't know what happened to me, but I just went wild yesterday. One, I didn't eat three square meals...which I usually always do. And, I went snack crazy when working at the video store. I ate a cookie literally the size of my head. I broke it up into small pieces and ate it throughout the night, but still...size of my head. Then I got home and ate some pretzels and string cheese. I wasn't even hungry...I just wanted to eat it...at 1 am in the friggin morning.

The positive spin is...that even when I am cheating, I am not cheating even close to as bad as I used to eat consistently. I ate one cookie (yes, the size of my head), one thing of string cheese and some fat free pretzels. So, I could have done a lot worse...but yes, this week I will do a lot better.

back to Power 90 I go...but I am going to remember the lessons of this week and give myself breaks when I need it. There is no use pushing so hard...if I am not going to take an all around picture of my health...including my sanity.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The sad State of the Union

Last night was the State of the Union Address for 2006. A lot of my democratic friends don't watch events like this...because they say it is just a waste of time and it gets them upset. I disagree....if I like it or not (and I don't like it)...Bush is our President...and burying my head in the sand doesn't make that untrue. So, I think it is my responsibility to hear what he has to say about the direction he wants to take our country in.

It was an interesting State of the Union....Bush was less arrogant and cocky than he usually is....which is probably because his approval rating is in the high 30s. And...it is obvious how absolutely divided the Congress is. I usually condone solely partisan actions, but I have to say...I LOVED it when the Democrats stood up and clapped when Bush said that Congress did not take his advice and pass the changes to Social Security. I loved it because it gave the Democrats a voice and an ability to show that they still have a smidge of power...and I loved the look on Bush's face when it happened.

Now...I think Bush's speech was a lot of the same. I did find it funny that Bush is coming out hard that the US is addicted to oil. How did the Bush family make all their money? Hmmm.... So, for decades Bush relied on that addiction to oil...but now...it's a HUGE problem. Okay...

And, I still don't accept his answering about the spying program. Let me say...I don't have a problem with people being listened to if it can help stop terrorism...it just needs to be done in the correct way. If you can't get a judge's approval beforehand...fine, no problem...but you had better go to a judge afterwards. That is the rule. That is what Bush is not doing. That is my problem....fight terrorism, protect our country...but don't use that as an excuse to break the rules and just do what you want. The President should stand as an example to the American people...

And...when I heard Bush talk about the cutting the deficit in half...I cringed. What is his plan??? The only thing he mentioned was cutting 140 programs. He didn't mention which programs...but we know which programs he means. He means public assistance...programs which help the poor and needy. Those are the programs which he is looking to cut...in order to fix the money problems of our country. That is unacceptable to me....plain and simple...unacceptable! Every single other war president has raised taxes during times of war...to pay the financial price. But, Bush has refused.....instead he is requiring the people in this country who are least able to pay the bill for this war...the poor, the sick, the uneducated. He doesn't want his rich friends to foot the bill...but that single mother of three...working 3 jobs...barely making rent...and needing assistance to heat the house and put food on the table...she'll end up paying for it. *sighs*

And as for the Democratic response...I was not impressed in total. I have never heard Va. Governor Kaine before...as many other people in the country. I know why the Democratic party picked him...because he is much less likely to be partisan, etc. I respect him for that...since I often hate that each side needs to kick sand in the faces of the opposition just for show. But, I didn't like him...and his style. It reminded me of a Kindergarten teacher...who seems to explain everything to the kids very slowly. He just repeated the same catch phrases over and over again. I listened to Barack Obama this morning on GMA...and he was so much more effective. He wasn't combative...and talked about the real issues facing the people, the Democratic party. I was inspired by him. I *heart* Barack!

Anyways....I haven't blathered on politically in a while...but, well...it was only a matter of time. I listened to what Bush had to say and once again...I don't see much hope. I just see more of the same.