Sunday, August 31, 2003

my internet connection has been crappy lately...and I get it through my apartment complex and they don't seem to care. So, right now it is working for a little bit and then jamming up again and it ends up being slower than dial-up! frustrating to say the least....

And on my "friend" count...the update isn't much. I am pretty much giving up at this point. I don't want to put any more effort into a friendship that I am getting nothing from. I called her over a week ago and asked her to call me back...and so far, no call. I won't pretend that doesn't hurt my feelings....but I think to make it stop constantly being there, I need to let go. She isn't being a friend....and so, I am going to stop referring to her as one. Now, if she calls...I will take the call, but I am not sure if I am still open to speaking to her and working things out. I think that time may have passed. I think at this point, the level of inconsiderateness is overwhelming and I think I deserve better.

Now...I need to look at my social life. I spent a lot of time with this one friend. She was the main friend I hung out with and so now I really need to look at my social life. I have a lot of friends, but I didn't really hang with them as much as I did this other friend. I am going to look to do that a lot more. I think in the end....making some of these changes, I will be much happier. I am sure I will always miss our friendship, but I am going to stop hoping that it is still there....cause it isn't.


P.S. I watched that crap TV show on MTV called Newlyweds. It is the reality show for Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. I watched just out of morbid curiousity and my is entertaining just because it shows that Jessica Simpson is the most selfish and self-absorbed person I have ever seen. She thinks that her celeb/pampered life is how it is supposed to be...and has no awareness at how lucky she is. She is constantly expecting people to be serving her and to be pampering her.... Her poor husband...and from his reaction (he seems very humble and down to earth)...he seems to think her spoiledness is out of control as well. LOL Good luck to them on their marriage...I couldn't stay married to someone like that!

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

UJ: awesome

I just got back from the Liz Phair show and it was AWESOME! I wasn't a huge fan of her music...meaning that I liked what I heard on the radio, but I didn't own any of her CDs. She rocked, so I am going to pick a few up. And it was in such a nice, small venue and those shows are always awesome.

And we were standing right next to these 2 guys....and when one of them would go to the bar, we would move over and help hold their spot, since once someone moved...the crowd would just take over the space. And...well, from going to a women's college and having a lot of gay friends, I have a pretty accurate gay-dar for a straight chick. So, I sensed that at least one of the two guys might be gay...and they might be a couple. So, as a thank you for holding their of the guys bought us a drink. We were only drinking sodas, so we said ok.

My friend I went with, she has sparkle glitter on her face, chest and arms...and the one guy said how cool it was and he wished she had more so he could put some on. So, my friend gets out her glitter and puts some on him. He said..."ooh, I love being all glittery!" *ding, ding, ding* I think my gay-dar was accurate. Actually, I know it was since I saw him sitting on a guy wearing an Iron Maiden T-shirt later in the night. But anyway...they were pretty nice and bought us a few sodas as a thank you for holding their place in the crowd when one of the snuck off to buy a beer.

So...the show rocked! I had the best time and now I should be off to bed....cause I have to be up and at a training at 8am! eeek....


P.S. The bassist for Liz Phair was so hot! hummina, hummina, hummina....

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

UJ: liz phair

hey all...i am heading to indy to see the liz phair show tonight. One of my friends wanted to go and I was more than happy to tag along!


Monday, August 25, 2003

UJ: early riser

So, on my first official, non-official day of my vacation. I thought...yeah, I'll sleep in and not get up until I wake up. I love the idea of going to sleep and not setting an alarm. Sounds good, eh?

Well...this morning I wake up bright and early at 6AM! I try to go back to sleep, but once I wake up, I am usually awake. It is usually useless to try to fall back asleep. So, about 6:20am, I get up and start my day. grumbles....

There is not a day when I was younger and in college that I would be up at 6am if I didn't have to be. It just would never be an option. I guess it is part of growing up...and having a set schedule. Instead, I got a little, took a shower, had some breakfast and drove downtown for a nice walk. What has happened to me? I feel so old!

I don't like being a grown up!

*I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R' Us kid*


Thursday, August 21, 2003

UJ: thursdays

So, I had a meeting this morning at 9am....and it was right downtown in the office next to the local Planned Parenthood. And if people don't know, Thursday is usually the day when PP does abortions. They just pick one day in the week, so that in terms of security they don't have to be on high alert all the time. So, I ended up parking in the PP parking lot and every week there are all these people sitting there with signs protesting.

Now, don't get me wrong...I don't think people do not have the right to protest, I just hate the way they choose to spread their message. They have all these pictures of aborted fetuses and signs which say such hateful things. And as someone gets out of their car...they yell at them and say things like, "Your baby loves you. Love your baby back."

It upsets me for many reasons. Yes, I am anyone who knows me that would be obvious, but my problem isn't that these protesters are pro-life, it is how they are doing what they are doing. I can see that in their minds...they just care and want to save little babies, but come on. Do you think these women haven't thought of the things you have to say before they walk in there? Do they think that most women who have abortions just do it on a whim? I know there are some women who are irresponsible with the right to choose, but that is such a small minority. And for people to be so hateful to another human just makes me ill. And second of all, only a very small percentage of women who use PP on Thursday are getting abortion services. Most women are getting the same services they get during the rest of the week....and those women get yelled at too.

I walked by one of the protestors and she smiled at me and was about to say something (since she saw me walking away from PP, so she assumed that I was not part of the target audience to be screamed at). As she started to speak to me...I just put up my hand and said "please don't" She then spouted that she is doing the work of the lord....and I looked back and shook my head. Maybe, but in my eyes....those who are escorting these women into the clinic and putting their lives on the line are doing god's work. Those who help people when they are desperate do god's work. I do god's work everyday....and it doesn't involve bringing grotesque signs, yelling at people and calling them sinners.

I don't just struck a chord with me. It's stayed with me all day....and I have seen them every week. I always drive by them on my lunch hour or my way home from work. Just the sight of them always disturbs me...and I am sure that is what they want. But I am not disturbed because of the gravity of what they are saying...I am disturbed by their cruelty in how they choose to speak their message.

I think I might call PP and see if I can volunteer on Thursday mornings to be a volunteer escort. Maybe that way...I will be able to do won't be a lot, but it will be a support arm bringing those people into the building.

Anyways....that's my social-worky, political rambling for the day....


Wednesday, August 20, 2003

UJ: wednesday morning rambling...

My brother is coming to visit again tonight. He is going to Indianapolis to see a band he really, he and a few of his friends are staying in my apartment tonight. I am excited to see him even if I will only get to see him for a little bit of time. I don't think I will see him tonight until pretty late....but we might get to have breakfast and such in the morning. It's pretty cool having him visit though....I'll miss him bunches when he moves to Florida.

I got little to no sleep last night....I don't know why. Well, first I stayed up too late...even though I was tired. And then when I went to soon as I shut my eyes, my annoying neighbor starting playing his strange music...and then at 2am...he and his friend went outside (as she was leaving) and had the LOUDEST conversatoin pretty much right outside my window. Because I live in a college town, many of my neighbors are students...and it is so obnoxious to see how they are when they don't have classes. They are loud and seem to have no consideration that some of us might have to get up and go to work in the morning. But then again, I was probably the same way when I was a college, I shouldn't complain too much.

And next week...I am supposed to be on vacation, but since I am not going out of town, everyday it seems like something from work is coming up. Hmm, how is it considered a vacation when I am still coming into work?

I'm gonna go home for lunch...and have a nice, warm, yummy bowl of soup! Mmm....mmmm...good!


Tuesday, August 19, 2003

UJ: UN headquearters bombed in Iraq

So, I was watching some cheesy TV (since I am working from home...kind of under the weather) and I see and hear that breaking news stuff (BTW- I get real antsy every time I see one of those breaking news things since 9/11...since breaking news is never good news!).

And nope, it's not good news. The UN Headquarters in Baghdad was bombed. They believe it was done by a suicide bomber who drove into the building with a truck. Right now there are at least 15 dead, but there might be more. I imagine there might be dozens more.

Here is a link to an article about it:

And my first thought...and my main how did anyone think starting a war would actually bring peace? War just brings more violence...and look, here it is. These things will just continue as well. War doesn't solve things, it just kills people...and sadly, people are dying in the name of peace.



UJ: what's your personality?

Hey all...I am not feeling well today...upset stomach and all, so instead of whining and complaining about that, take this personality test. If you take it, let me know what personality you got!

(look under Jung Typology and click on "take test")

I have taken the Myers-Briggs test numerous times before and I always get the same outcome, ENFJ. Here is a description of my personality. In some ways it is really right on.



Sunday, August 17, 2003

UJ: worst foods


I just got this article sent to my email...and it has people describe some of the most horrible foods that they eat. There are some which seem so fattening and bad for you, it hurts to even think about them.

Now some of them, I know are bad for me...but they sound good, but most of them just sound like a greasy mess.

The Twinkie Hotdog is well...just gross! If anyone sees that and makes it, just don't tell me!



Saturday, August 16, 2003

UJ: hot!

Hey all...I just got back from a 45 minute walk around my neighborhood. I was going to slowly jog, but it is so hot today (about 90 degrees), I thought walking would be better.

but was so hot. I drank all the water I had with me...and now I am happy to be back inside my cool apartment!

Cooling off....


Friday, August 15, 2003

whoo hoo! I got paid today. You know, I say whoo hoo, but really it is not all that exciting. As soon as I get my paycheck, I immediately go home and write out ALL the bills I will be anticipating in the next two weeks, until I get paid again...and then I see the little change that I have left to spend. It's not like when I was a kid or even when I was in college.,...those paychecks were just to blow on whatever I fancied at the time. I guess it's all part of growing up, eh?

I am trying really hard to build up my savings while I can...since I know the job I have is great and for a social worker, it actually pays well, but at the same time...I am working for a program which is funded by a grant and this grant runs out at the end of next year. So, who knows...we hope that there will be funding to take its place, but I also know I can't be sure of that.

Alright...enough blathering on about money.

This weekend I don't plan on doing a heck of a lot...some grocery shopping, a little cleaning of the apartment (since my brother and some of his friends are going to stay over with me one night next week...and I wanna make the impression that I am a neat person!). I also might rent a couple of movies and just chill out.

Alright that's's quite a boring journal entry, but well....sometimes so is life. I would rather have it this way than have my life chuck full of drama!


Thursday, August 14, 2003

UJ: some of my fav words

I should be heading to bed, but instead here are a few of my favorite words:









I try to use these words as often as possible....most of them, I just like the way they sound. And well..if any of these words offend you...and we know which word I am talking about...umm, boysenberry! lol Well, they are my fav words, not yours!

Anyone else have words they love to find ways to suddenly place in your constant vocabulary?


UJ: power outage

So...the day seemed normal as could be for me, until I got home from work and watched the news. It's the first time I heard of the power outage that is happening on the east coast. I guess it started near Niagra Falls in Canada...and the main grid went down, which caused all the connecting grids to also go down (which is a safe measure).

So, I called my parents...who live in NY and they have been out of power for hours. And my brother just got power back where he lives. When I talked to my dad about 7pm, he said they hoped to have power back sometime tonight, but who knows.

So, I am glad I have power...and hope that my family gets power too.

The power goes off here because of storms a good two or three times a year...and i always notice how bored I am when the power goes out. Almost everything that entertains us needs to be plugged into the wall in some way. I'm not able to use the computer, watch movies, watch TV, play games, use the phone (since I have a cordless phone)...and the list goes on and on.


P.S. That lovely friend of mine still hasn't called...we were supposed to go on vacation together in about a week and at this point, that trip is nixed. I have no idea if she still wants to do that, but now at this point...I don't. I don't want to spend a week of my vacation with someone who can't seem to bother to return a phone call. It's too bad though...we were going to visit a friend and now I am gonna miss not being able to see that friend.

Oh well...I won't pretend I am not bothered...that I don't seem to matter enough to this person, who was pretty much the closest person I had here in Bloomington, but in the is what it is.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

UJ: $$$$$

for work...I often have to pay for things out of pocket and then I get paid back after the fact.

So, I filled out a bunch of purchase requests get some of the money I spent back and I have a whopping $275 coming back to me.

In one sucks, cause that is a lot of money I had to put out. And, money is tight enough that it makes a difference.

But, on the other is kinda cool, since I had spent that money, it feels like I am coming into a few hundred bucks that I didn't think I had (even though in the end it was always my money) and so, that is a nice feeling.

So..on friday, I am not only getting my paycheck, but getting a check issued for all the money that is owed to me.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

UJ: walks around campus

At work, we are starting this new's a wellness program for women. It mainly deals with nutrition, self care, and exercise. It seems that a whole and especially mothers, spend so much time taking care of others...that they don't get around to ever taking care of themselves. So...this is where that program came from.

And part of the program, is 30 to 45 minutes of light exercise. We are starting with walks....and the past week I have been mapping it out. I work right I have been walking on campus. Indiana University has one of the most beautiful campuses out there. The buildings are absolutely gorgeous...and there are green trees and flowers and monuments all over the place.

As I have been walking this week...a mile here and a mile there. I remembered how much I loved my street outreach job. I loved the job because it was helping people...those people who weren't being helped by ANYONE else. And I also loved the job because I got to be outside and active as part of it. Most days, I walked from about 5 to 9 miles a day. We would cover most of downtown...and that was on foot. Sometimes we would bike ride, but most of the time it was walking. I really enjoyed that...and, it was so much easier for me to be healthy then. My job consisted of exercise....and I loved that. I have noticed how much I miss that...since most of my job consists of running to and from meetings (in my car) or sitting in my office.

So, I am making an effort to get out more. I am taking my lunch breaks...carrying my lunch and walking around town. Or, if a meeting is close...since a lot of meetings are downtown, I am walking to them. An example is today. I had a lunch meeting with the directors of all the other family centers...and instead of driving down there, I walked. It was only 10 or 15 minutes...and it was a nice part of my day. It also gives me some breathing time in between meetings...which on some days, is much needed.

I just notice that my outlook on life is much better...if for some part of the day I spend it active and preferably outside.

That's my deep thought for the day....hee, hee

UJ: Phone Tag

I called my *friend* back yesterday...the one who called me on hope to talk things out. She wasn't home, but I left her a message. It looks like we are playing the phone tag game now.

I am sure we will talk sometime soon....I am just not sure what I want to say to her.

Well, I do know what I want to say to her...but I am not sure that I want her to hear it. Makes sense?

I am going between wanting to be forgiving...and working on the friendship....but the other side is, that I want to make sure I am respecting myself at the same time. I have come to the point in my life where it is ok to say that you should and deserve to be treated a certain way. I used to not be like that....I think I was too afraid that if I did that, I would lose friends. I think I was afraid that just being my friend would not be good enough...and I should just take what I can get.

I don't think that way anymore....and I know I am a good friend. I am not saying I am this situation or any other. And I also know...even if I did lose ALL my friends(which I know isn't going to happen)...I would rather have friends I know care about me, then to wonder.

So, I haven't decided what to do yet...but if she called right now, I think I would tell her quite open and honestly, how hurt I have felt...and see if after that, a friendship is still there and worth working on. If so...I am willing. If not, I am ok with that too.

Anyways....enough rambling so early in the morning!

Sunday, August 10, 2003

UJ: Seymour Days Recap

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I went down to Seymour, Indiana for their Seymour Days festival. Now going isn't all about's about the people who were going....the crazy Mellencamp fans..and yep, I am one of 'em.

Let me tell you...these people are amazing. I hadn't been at a Mellencamp event in about a, I had almost forgot how great these people are. What a wonderful feeling to have a whole group of people so excited to see was a great bump to my self-esteem...which if you read this thing, was kind of in a down slump. We have such a many ways, it is much like a family. I felt like I had a little family reunion yesterday. They are wonderful people and I will be much more connected in the future...sinceI kinda dropped off the face of the world in the last year.

Oh, I got to see Moe and Jenn...who used to be in John's band yesterday. Both of them looked really good....and I was happy to hear they are both still kicking around in Bloomington. They played a show on Saturday night, but I was just too tired to check them out, but I most definitely will next time. Here are their websites, check them out!

And the music began...the first band is one of my absolute favs! They are truly one of my top five bands ever....The Mary Janes. They are a folk rock band...I think that is the best way I can describe them. The first time I heard their music...and Janas' voice...I knew I would love them. If I was ever to be making music and in a band, I would strive to have something much like Janas and the Mary Janes. I'll admit it, I would love to be Janas and what she brings to music!

Here is the Mary Janes website, check them out too!

The Mary Janes played a great set...and Toby Myers (Mellencamp's forum bass player) sat in with her. In the end, they played a song in memory of some people who passed away this year. One of those people....was a very dear friend of many of the Mellencampers. She passed away from cancer a couple of months back. The tribute was so heartfelt and beautiful. I know she saw it...and is smiling down on us. She was a huge fan of, the fact that he was honoring and remembering her, I know that meant a lot to her!

It was strange to be at a Mellencamp event with her. She was the first Mellencamp fan that I, I will always think of her when I think of him and his music. Much much love to her...and all those who love her!

And then the music continued...Bobby Clark played. His set was good as usual...Bobby is Mellencamp's cousin (for those crazy kids who don't know!). I bought his newest CD...and I am sure I will like it as much as I liked the other one.

It was so so hot yesterday....phew...I got a tad too much sun, so now i am slightly burned, but it was well worth it. By the end of the day, I was getting quite tired. We all were walking around SICA like we were in a daze! Maybe next year they will make the Seymour Days over two we won't be the Mellencamp zombies by the end of the day!

Overall...what a great day....seeing some wonderful friends...hearing some wonderful music. I SO look forward to the next day like this one.


P.S. The event was at the Southern Indiana Center for the Arts. Here is their website, check them out too! It is run by Don Hill...who is the nicest man on the planet!

Friday, August 08, 2003

UJ: Seymour Days

Tomorrow I am going to Seymour, IN. Why you ask? Well....tomorrow is a day long festival in Seymour called Seymour Days. They are having a bunch of bands playing in the afternoon. It should be a lot of fun...and for those who don't know, Seymour is John Mellencamp's hometown.

But the main reason I am going is because one of my friends who passed away recently...we are doing a memorial for her at the local arts center there. I can't wait to see my Mellen-friends and remember our friend.

It should be a great weekend...probably an emotional weekend, but a great one.


So, that *friend* that I had a falling out with....she *finally* called today. It's been about three weeks since she said she would call and never did. I will give her a call at the end of the weekend or on Monday (since I am actually going to be pretty busy this weekend), but I am not sure what I am going to say.

I am not ok with pretty much being ignored for almost a month. I was really there for her in the past months....when times were really tough for her...and as soon as things got tough for me...and along the way, I got upset and hurt at something she did, she disappeared. I don't know if we can repatch our friendship, but in the end...I will probably be open to trying.

So....the story goes on and on....


P.S. But this weekend is all about fun...and hanging out with some great friends. I'll post back with how it went! *winks*

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

UJ: Dean for America!

So, just in case you were wondering who I am currently backing for the new President of the United is some light reading for you about one Dr. Howard Dean!

Enjoy! I was at the local county fair here in Bloomington...and there was a Howard Dean for President table there. I visited and talked about how I lived in Vermont for 5 years...yadda yadda yadda. They asked if I had ever met Dean, which I have. They were so excited.... It was a cute moment. I would LOVE it if Dean was able to win the Democratic nomination and actually have a chance at being our next President. I saw what he did in Vermont and I think the nation could use his type of leadership.


My brother left about 10am yesterday. We got up at about 8:30 and had breakfast. I told my brother we could go anywhere he wanted...and gave him a plethora of choices. And what does he say, "Well, I *really* wanna go to McDonalds. I love their McGriddles."

So, there are two things wrong with that statement. One, McDonalds....that is his choice. This is from my brother who is a devote vegetarian, who was vegan for a while until just recently. And instead of picking a granola crunchy bagel place, he picks Mickey Ds....the crappiest of all fast food. It was like bizarro world for me.

And two, McGriddles. Those are the egg and cheese sandwiches, but instead they are sandwiched between two small maple flavored pancakes. Hmm, let's just saw ewww...and get it over with.

So, we went to Mickey D's...and I had some eggs and muffins and such. It wasn't bad and heck, it was cheap food. Then we went back to my apartment for a little bit and then he headed out on the road and I headed to work.

It was very nice to see him....and I enjoy hanging out with him. When we were growin up, we were so different that we didn't really get along much of the time. We loved one another, but I am not sure we liked one another. I think it took time and maturity for us to appreciate our differences. Now, he is one of the coolest and more interesting people that I know...and I like that we can see one another. It's too bad we don't live closer to one another., I consider my brother to be both my brother and my friend. That's pretty cool to me.

So, now I am getting dressed and getting to work. I have to go to pet store first since the fish at work...ummm....died. So, since the kids like the fish...I am going to replace it. So, off to PetSmart I go.

Enjoy the day...and all it brings!


Monday, August 04, 2003

My brother called tonight at about 5pm. He is driving back from Kansas City and is going to stop by my place and stay tonight. I think that is pretty cool.

Now, my apartment is trashed and he is going to be here in about an hour...but well, he's my brother, it's what he expects!

It'll be so nice to see him. He won't be here long, but however long he is here, I will enjoy his company.


UJ: some people are just jerks!

So, I was reading my friend Jen's online journal and she told how someone was just a huge huge jerk! This person had no consideration for anyone else...just their own good time. Things like this enrage can people be ok with being like that? What is wrong with the world? You should read her site and get the account of her asshat:

So, it got me thinking of this jerk of a lady who I came across yesterday. Here the little story...enjoy!

It was mid afternoon and I was getting together a shopping list to go to the grocery store. So, I get to the store and buy my items. I have about 10 or so items and I go to the USCAN checkout. We have this option of being able to check yourself out without a cashier. it's really quite nice and I tend to use so I can see everything ring up and because I have such few items that it usually saves me time.

There are 4 USCAN registers....2 on the left and 2 on the right. People wait in line for the ones on the left in one line and the ones on the right in another. So, I was waiting in the left line and it was to be my turn as soon as someone was done.

So, then right in front of me...this woman just strolls her cart up in front of the first register on the left. She just sits there waiting for the woman to be done.

I look at her and realize what she is doing, so I say to her... "excuse me maam, people waiting for that register are in this line." I was being as nice as can be, since I thought she just didn't know.

So, she snorts and looks at me and says..."Well, I thought you were waiting for that register. " and she points to the one behind the one her cart is in front of. Then she says, "I am waiting for this one right here." And then she stays right there.

So, I say, "No, I am waiting for whichever one is next and since that one will be done first, that is the register I will be going to. There is a line over here. That is how it works."

So, she says it such a nasty tone, "oh, that is how it works? Well, I didn't know there were such RULES here." She starts moving her cart back over to the line on the right (where her cart was in the first place) and she keeps muttering, "Well, isn't it nice when customers can just make the rules about things. That must be SO nice." And mind you, she isn't alone...she has her two kids with her. Both of them looked like they were under ten.

The register in front of me opens up and I go and use it. She and I finished about the same time, except she needed to right a check. So, she went up to the cashier's station to give her check and I walked by at the same time.

She mutters to me, "Thanks for clearing that up for me. I REALLY appreciated your help."

Oh, I wanted to bitch slap her. I wanted to say, "Oh well, I guess you don't think you need to wait in line like everyone else Princess!" I wanted to say that and some other things....but I didn't.

I didn't say anything...wanna know why? because her kids were with her. I thought it was already bad enough that her kids had to witness their behavior, I didn't think they needed to be exposed to anything else. But just think about it, that woman just showed such a horrible example to their kids.

So, that is my asshat story for the day!


Saturday, August 02, 2003

back to work for me!

But, if time allows...I think I might head to a local park and see the Mary Janes play! That should be a nice lunch break.


Friday, August 01, 2003

UJ: you are my friend

hee, hee...I think this is hilarious. One of my friends sent it to me as a joke. It is a website where you can put any name in and it does this:

Also, if you happen to watch the show 24 on Fox....which I happen to think is the best show on TV. There is a new little forum about the show. Feel free to check it out: