Finishing up a 4 day weekend...

Hi all...a belated Happy Mother's Day to everyone. I was going to post something yesterday, but well...I didn't want to end up being a Debbie Downer, especially since all and all, I've been pretty gosh darn good.

So, what did I do with my LLLLLOOOOONNNNGGGGG weekend? Well...here is a quick recap.

Friday: I went for a long bike ride. I biked from my apartment to the local video store...and then over to my dad's. I went through a bunch of stuff in my brother's room (which we are using for storage right now and are going to turn it into a workout room when I move back in). I found such weird things in there....a couple of checks people wrote me back in 2000. I am not going to cash them now because well, I've seen that episode of Seinfeld, so I just shredded them. I also found so much stuff I could have been using: blank notebooks, crayons, tape, a stapler, boxes of Papermate pens, rolls of unused film, etc. I just threw stuff in a box and never looked at it again. After sorting for a while, I rode my bike home...and then started to pack some stuff.

Saturday: I took a long, long, long bike ride...I rode over to the Post Office in town...then I headed to the video store again...and rode beyond and went on the bike trail for about 4 miles and then headed back to my dad's house. I am LOVING riding my bike around town. Dad and I went shopping...and bought lotsa stuff. I came home and continued packing things I didn't need. I filled my car...and worked up a nice sweat. Oh...and I had a nice, hour long conversation with a friend on the phone. We haven't hung out in about a year...but, it was SO nice talking to her. It didn't feel like so much time had passed. We are going to make plans to hang out next weekend and actually *see* one another. I am glad I am not being such a hermit...slowly, but surely. I also watched 2 movies...Juno and Superbad. Both very funny.

Sunday: I went to church. I almost biked there because my bike and I are in love. I was running a little late, so I drove instead...plus, I don't know how long it would take me to get there, so I played it safe. Church was really nice...and was glad I spent Mother's Day there since my mom always loved going to church. I had the nicest conversation with my Pastor...and she asked me to get involved in a service project I am really excited about (more about that at another time). I headed to dad's...unpacked all the stuff from my car and started to pile it in my dad's house. My dad and I headed to my mom's grave marker and brought some fresh lilacs from the house. My mom LOVED lilacs, so I love the idea of the smell of lilacs surrounding her marker. We came home...puttered around the house a little and then I headed home. I watched some crap tv and was in bed early. It was a sad, but more than that...a really good Mother's Day.

Monday: Ah, my last day off. I could get really used to not having to work...if only that paid the bills. I woke up, puttered around the apartment and then headed out (yes, on my bike)...and yep...went to the video store. Then, I headed over to my dad's and this time went through a lot of the stuff in my old bedroom. It's kind of cluttered now and since I am moving myself and all my stuff in...I have to declutter it. I threw away 2+ garbage bins full and found bags of clothes to donate. I also found...and this is hilarious, some alcohol I had stashed and hidden from college. So, I've had wine coolers stashed in my closet since probably 1998. If that's not funny and pathetic at the same time, I don't know what is. Anyways....I finished what I could, had lunch at my dad's...and headed back out towards my apartment. I decided to take the long way since I wanted to know how long it would take to bike all the way from dad's to work. Well, I got about halfway...and went over a rusty metal hanger and it plunged right into my tire....splat...flat tire. So, I got off my bike and walked her home. It was a little less than 2 miles...and so I got some walking workout in. I came home...watched some crap tv...continued to pack and now dad is coming over and we are going to get a patch kit and hopefully fix my bike.

So...that's my weekend...which basically is packing, decluttering and my constant love affair with my new bike.

Hugs all....

Moving Back Home

Happy May Day everyone!!!

Hey everyone out there on the internet...and by everyone, I mean the 4 people who might read here. LOL That's alright...I always say I write more for me than anything else.

I've made a decision...that when my lease expires in the end of June, I'm going to move back home with my dad. It's something I've been thinking about for a few weeks...maybe longer. I kept deciding one way and then another...and then changing my mind all over again. But, I finally bucked up and made a final decision.

The last year has been a tough one on me and my dad...we've had to adjust our daily lives in a way we had never hoped to with the loss of my mom. When she first passed away, I asked him if he wanted me to move home...and he said that I could, but that he didn't need me to. So, I resigned my lease and went on my way.

A little while ago, my dad mentioned that the offer for me to move home was still there. I think it was his way of asking me to move home...but without putting any pressure on. I started to mull it around in my head and weighing the pros and the cons. All in all...there are so many more pros than cons. One, I can save a lot of money....which I plan on putting in a savings account to buy a car/down payment for a house/get lasik eye surgery/ put towards my 401K, etc. I'll have a lot more money to be able to use for things...and put away. So, that is a huge advantage. It'll also give me a lot more time to spend with my dad...which is such a pro. We have been meaning to do a lot of projects around the house...and I was finding it hard to find the time, but with being home...that will be so much easier. I'll also be able to just hang with him a lot more...which I think will be good for both of us. My dad and I really get along...so, it'll be nice for both of us. I also think the house has probably been pretty lonely for him this past year, so if me being home can brighten it up, that'll make me feel good.

There are some cons...or things I need to be careful of. One, the idea of being 30 and living at your parent's house just doesn't LOOK good. I look like one of those mooch kids who grows up, but never moves out. I know that isn't the situation...but to the outside, it's how it looks. I also need to make sure the transition doesn't lead to me gaining some weight back. I have a horrible pattern of gaining weight when change happens and particularly when I move. So, I am going to make sure that does not happen. I've worked way too hard to just throw it all away. My dad and I talked about turning my brother's room into an exercise room...which will be great. I think I'm also going to rejoin the gym...so I know I always have a place to workout. And another con...is that I'll be really sad not to be living with my roommate anymore. She's one of my closest friends and I have really enjoyed living with her. Also, I know life is really stressful for her right now...so I hate that I added more stress to her life with my decision. If I could have an ideal world...and have both at the same time, I would.

My lease isn't up until the end of June...and now I am going to spend the next month and a half slowly moving myself back into my dad's. I wanna be "moved out" by mid June since our apartment complex is notorious for not giving much of a deposit back...so I want to make sure we get every nickle we can, etc. I figure if I bring some stuff every time I go to my dad's....it won't be such an ordeal.

Happy Thursday all....

Self Care

Hey y'all....I forgot to update yesterday with of course the weekly weigh-in report. I am happy to say that for the first time...I maintained my weight. I didn't lose any...and I didn't gain any. I don't know if I have this whole thing figured out just yet, but I do have more of a handle on it than I did before. I step on the scale each and every morning and the weight was up some days...back down some others. I mainly think the fluctuation has more to do with the sodium in whatever I am eating...than anything else.

One thing I really noticed as I have continued losing weight...and taking better physical care of myself...is that I am willing to spend money on things I never would before. Here are a few examples:

Clothes: I have never been a clothes horse...not in the slightest. I was still wearing some clothes that I wore in high school and I graduated in 1995. Since I've lost weight and moved down to a size I have never been before, it's forced me to renew my wardrobe and spend money and time buying clothes. I used to hate going clothes shopping, but now...I really like it. I like all the new options and just trying things on. I still stay within a budget...but if price were no option, I'd be buying things left and right. Speaking of...I need to buy some spring/summer shoes and I also need to buy a couple pairs of jeans. It's definitely on the list for the next shopping day.

I've never been to a spa before. The idea of getting a massage was really unattractive to me. I think part of it...was my negative body image and not really liking the idea of a total stranger touching me. I still am not sure I like the idea of a stranger getting their hands all over me...but, I am much more open to it. What I would like to try first...is also something I've never had done. I want to get a pedicure. It just seems like a fun, fancy thing to do. It's on the list...not something I am planning to do tomorrow, but definitely something I wanna put on the "to do" list.

Makeup/ Beauty Products: I used to never wear makeup...ever. I often end up looking like a vampire princess in the winter because my skin is so fair. I have noticed a shift there too. I still wear very minimal makeup, but I do put it on each and every morning before leaving for work. It's just lip gloss, a little cover up powder, some blush on the cheeks and eye shadow...but it's much more than I used to wear. I still think the idea of wearing obvious makeup...is not my style, but I like a little color on my face. I've also spent some money on some facial products. I bought a facial cleanser that so far...I really like. I'm also on the lookout for some good acne products. I am really lucky because I have nice skin. My skin rarely breaks out...so, I don't have to worry about acne all too much. I do get the occasional breakout, especially since I am working out so much. It's interesting....that working out is what causes my breakouts. I know it's that my skin is constantly sweating and therefore being irritated. Plus, with all the outside running...especially on the streets, it's gotta be bad for the skin. I have been on the lookout for a natural acne treatment. All the stuff I have..which isn't a lot...is so chuck full of chemicals. It works, but it also really dries out my skin.

Cooking Tips/Books: I am constantly looking for recipes on the internet...and buying those little cooking magazines that are in the check out aisles in the grocery store. I've just become so much more interested in how things are made...and baking things. Before, I thought it was a hassle...and if I had to bring a cake to work or church, I would swing by Hannaford and buy it. Now...I look forward to baking something. It's just an interesting switch.

So there are just a few examples at things that I would never even think of spending money on...but now, I have more of an interest in. I still watch my finances like a hawk, but when I have a few extra dollars...it's stuff I want to throw a little bit towards. I think, in general, it's a good thing. When I think of all the money I've thrown away over the years...buying crap, no good for you food...I am glad now that I am tempted to throw money towards things like this instead.

Long and Lean

I did get in major cleaning mode today...Spring is definitely in the air. I cleaned the kitchen, bathroom, living room, helped my dad clean out one of the bedrooms we've been using for storage, did some laundry and started to work on getting my bedroom cleaned. I don't get the cleaning bug often...but when I do, I go like gangbusters.

Another thing I did today....is I did some Yoga. I got a free yoga dvd in the mail and decided to try it. I've been a working out fool lately..doing cardio 3 times per week and strength training 3 times per week. I haven't done a lot of yoga lately, but I love it. Initially, I hated yoga...but that was years ago. I thought that yoga shouldn't be hard and should always be so serene and peaceful, so when yoga was kicking my booty...I hated it. I've since learned the benefits of yoga and really enjoy it. It works out those core muscles...increases stability and flexibility...and also gets a good sweat on. To be honest, when I hated yoga...I hated anything that reminded me I was doing exercise. Now, I love exercise and love yoga.

So, here is the DVD they sent me:


I really love this yoga dvd for a couple of reasons. One, it has three different yoga routines. It starts out with a beginner's session that lasts for about 30 minutes. It also has 2 other sessions that last a little over an hour. Why is that great? Well, because it isn't just a DVD you use a few times and get bored with it and have to find a new DVD. Once you get the gist of the first session...you are now ready to move on to the second session. Each session builds upon the one before.

Another thing I love about this dvd is that it has a section with all the different moves and positions. One of the things I hate about new workout tapes is that it takes me a little over a week to get the moves down...in order to actually be able to do the workout as you are supposed to. I usually just end up looking like a confused, ditzy dingbat for the first few times. With this DVD...you can click on each position and the leader will slowly walk you through the position, how to get into it and how to do it. I think that's fantastic. The first thing I did when I got the video...is flip through a few of the positions and give them a try. It made such a difference when I actually did session #1 this afternoon. I knew how to do the positions, so I got so much more out of the workout. The workout definitely got me sweating and I felt really strong when I was done. I can't wait until I am ready to move to session #2 and session #3.

Basically...I am a big fan of this dvd. I loved getting a free trial of it and would definitely buy more from the series. So, if you like yoga...check it out.

On my mind....

Today is one of those days I've been thinking a lot about my mom, so I thought I would write about her and how she fits into my weight loss journey since it seems to be all I ever talk about this lovely blog.

I'm one of the people who have always been overweight...since sometime in Elementary school. I was thin as a stick before then...and used to go to dance class all the time and basically could eat anything I wanted. Well, in 3rd or 4th grade...I quit dance and well, didn't stop eating anything I wanted. No shock that I gained weight...and that pattern continued until I was well into college.

I never seriously tried to lose weight until I was out of college. I mean...I wanted to be thinner and ordered all those "quick fixes" that I saw on tv...in hopes that they would work, but I will honestly say I never did the hard work of losing weight. I wanted the magic solution, but seemed unwilling to do the work.

Anyways, in 99...I hit a wall and got fed up. I started working my own program...basically counting calories and exercise. I was working close to home...and would walk to work and home...and walked during my lunch hour. I also watched every little thing I ate. It worked...I lost 50 lbs. I went to grad school...and kept it off for about a year and a half.

I gained it all back...and then got fed up again...and lost it. And then I moved back home to NY...and gained it all back again. Then I got fed up again...and lost it all again. Then, guess what...gained it all back again.

Then in May 4, 2007...my life changed. My mom passed away. She was only 60 years old. She had been battling diabetes and diabetes related illnesses for a long time. She suffered numerous infections...and her kidneys were not healthy. She was preparing to start dialysis within a year. My mom was overweight for most of my life...and she hated it. She would diet off an on...much like my history above. Losing her...was devasting. It wasn't something I was prepared for.

I went to a training for work the other day...and it was about motivating people to make changes in their lives, especially those people with a lot of problems or barriers. One of the main philosophies this guy had...is that the bad stuff or the pain in people's lives...it can either bury them or become the fuel they need to overcome it and become the success they are meant to be.

So, I miss my mom every day. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of something I would tell her...or want to ask her. I don't feel ready to be in a world without her and I doubt I ever will...but here I am. Well, for me...I used my mom's death and her health problems...as my weight loss fuel. I didn't always see it, but I see it now. She has been my motivation...to accomplish something I know that she wanted for me...to do something that would make her so proud.

I have had a different level of commitment to my diet and exercise plan this time around...than I have ever had before. I have been able to lose more weight...I have been able to stay on plan...I have been able to accomplish goals I never even dreamed of. I have thought to myself...why is it different this time?

It's different...because without even vocalizing it, I am doing it for her...and there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for my mom. She was there for me in every moment of every day....and if I have any kindness and compassion, it's because of her. So, my weight loss journey....and the success I have had...is in honor of her. I know she's smiling down on me...and so proud. And for that, I thank her...because she gave me the strength and the fuel to keep going...even when I wanted to throw in the towel.

Hugs to you mom...miss you bunches! (That's a pic of Mom and me...you know...when I was born and all)



And here is a pic of Mom and me at our local amusement park...on her fav ride, the Dumbo ride!

It's a beautiful day...

I'm so happy Spring seems to be turning the corner...the weather has been so nice recently. I had to work on Saturday morning and by the time I left the office at noon...it was so nice outside. It was still a little bit chilly...with a nice breeze, but the sun was out and it felt great to be outside. I decided to run on over to my dad's house...and enjoy the time outside. I warmed up with a mile walk...ran the 2 miles in the middle...and cooled down with another almost mile (It's 3.8 miles from my house to my dad's).

I had two really nice weight/diet related things that had nothing to do with the scale (and then I'll get to the scale report). This Sunday, I helped with the communion breakfast at church. We have a sit down breakfast in between the first and second services...as a time of fellowship and celebration. It's really nice since the first service and the second service...we often don't see each other much. I said I would help...so I made a huge fresh fruit salad and headed to church at 8am to help. Since many of the people in the second service hadn't seen me in a while...many months at least...a lot of them came up and said how great I looked. It was a nice reminder...since I have kind of gotten out of that period of people seeing the weight loss as a new thing. One woman, who was also my 6th grade teacher...came up and asked me what I've been doing and said I've never looked this healthy. So, it was good to see people...and help with the breakfast...and to make a healthy option (fruit)...and have people say that I looked fit and healthy. whoo hoo.

My second good thing...I went shopping on Sunday afternoon. I am in desperate need of work pants. I used to have a million bajillion pairs of pants, but now barely any of them fit. I had a bunch of size 12 pants and now basically they all are unwearable. I tried to wear a pair to work last week and it was embarrassing how they looked. So, I am basically down to 2 pair of pants that fit...and only one of them is work appropriate. I headed over to Old Navy in hopes of finding some nice pants on their clearance racks. I basically got one of every style of clearance pants they had in a size 8...and went to try them on. Most of them either fit or were a smidge loose. One of the pairs that was loose I really liked...they were a pair of khakis that kind of looked like cords, but not quite. Hard to describe...but I liked them. So, I hunted through the clearance stacks and found them in a size 6...and tried them on and low and behold, they FIT and fit well. I bought them and another pair of dress pants (size 8)...and was on my way. I can't believe I own a pair of size 6 pants...it makes my head hurt, but in a good way. whoo hoo...hoo!

Monday is my weigh-in day...as per usual. I have been working out hard this week...and doing 3 days of weight training and 3 days of light cardio. I hoped to see the scale blip up...which means I might be starting to build muscle. I had a trail mix attack on Thursday night...which means that I started eating it...and ATE way too much. I filled my belly with salty, yummy trail mix. So, on Friday and Saturday mornings...during my daily weigh-ins, the weight was up...sometimes as much as 4 lbs. Does that mean I gained 4 lbs overnight? Nope, not bloody likely. That stuff was mighty salty...and my body isn't used to it. So, I imagine I was retaining water like a mofo...especially since I was sucking down water on Saturday like no tomorrow. So, I stepped on the scale this morning...and I was up one lb. I don't think it's salt...or water weight...or a lb of gained fat from sucking down too much trail mix. I think it's an actual lb gained from working out and increasing my weights. I have muscles I haven't seen for a while on my arms...and my legs feel stronger. So...I can actually say for the first time in my natural life, I am HAPPY I gained a pound. I would like to gain 4 or 5 more...the smart and healthy way...gaining muscle, etc.

Alright...enough blabbering on about my scale and my weight and what not. If the weather is as beautiful where you are as it is here...get out there and enjoy it.

Happy Thursday

Hey all...I hope everyone is finding their Thursday treating them well. It's been cold the last few days...just to remind us that Spring is coming, but that Winter isn't done with us just yet. The weather guy did say that winter should be behind us now...but you never know, we've consistently known it to snow here or there in April. I remember it snowed last year in early April because I was in Florida at the time and my friends were cursing me from there.

My poor roomie is having a stressful week. Her mom is in the hospital and probably is having gallbladder surgery. She called and told me that her mom had a gallbladder attack on Monday and now they are just awaiting having the surgery. It's a tough time for everyone involved. My roomie's mom hates being in the hospital since the last time she was there...was when her husband was battling a terminal illness. And it's tough for my roomie because those times are always stressful...and she is taking over the parenting role for her little sister. She has so much on her plate already, that this just seems to be overwhelming her. The last time I spoke to her...she just seemed to be on the brink. I wish I could take some of the burden off of her...I would if I could. So, send some internet hugs her way...if you are so inclined.

And to switch gears...I had an exciting end of the day yesterday. I scooted out of work early and went over to meet the girl I am being matched with in our office's mentoring program. It's a lot like Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I've been considering doing it for years, but it just always wasn't the time. Now...it's officially the time. The girl I will be spending time with...she is just adorable. She has the best smile...from ear to ear...and she's still got that innocence about her. I think I might enjoy the time we are spending together more than she will...since I never had a little brother or sister, etc. Our first outing...is going to be going to the mall for a few hours...and window shopping. We're going to hit both of our favorite stores...and probably get some yummy food from the food court. Of course, we plan on getting lots of clothes to try on...and having our own version of a fashion show in the dressing room. It sounds like a blast to me.

And for this weekend...I don't have a lot of plans. I have to work on Saturday morning...which I keep almost forgetting. lol I have to teach a class at work. And then the usual weekend plans. My dad and I plan on going shopping on Saturday. He has a lot of around the house projects he wants to start buying things for. He wants to re-do the walls in mine and my brother's old room...and he wants to re-do the bathroom. Initially, we are going to re-do the whole shower with one of the walk in tubs when my mom was alive...since it would have been so much easier for her to use, but now I think he just wants to replace it with a new, nice, swanky one. He also wants to re-do the pipes and make it so he can use the water system outside again. I am always SO supportive of him making repairs of the house since selfishly, I will be taking the house over someday down the line. He said the house needs to be painted as well...and some windows need to be replaced. It's definitely spring time...so it's projects, projects everywhere!

And for Sunday...I am going to church. This Sunday is Communion Sunday. Some churches have communion every week, but we only do it monthly. I am helping two other women at church...serving the communion breakfast following the service. They are bringing bacon and eggs...and I am bringing a huge ol' fruit salad and maybe some granola. Mmmm.... That's about it for my weekend plans....oh...and cleaning...so my mentee can come over and I can not be completely embarassed, know what I mean?

Hugs all around...and enjoy the nice weather.

That's it!

I'm done with the internet and blogging. No one comments on my site....and those who do, just annoy me. I am shutting this place down...never to return again. I've had it. Everything is always blah, blah, blah...and well, who wants to hear it???
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tee, hee, hee...just kiddin'! April Fool's y'all...hopefully you become a practical joker all day long. I like a day all about jokes. Hmm, which just made me realize, I don't know the historical significance of April Fool's...I will have to spend some time today googling it to find out. Enjoy the day...and laugh often. And now back to my regular scheduled rambling updates:


Good Morning to all those out there in the internet....It's Tuesday and since my car is working and what not, it's a Happy Tuesday. I am so thankful that it wasn't a bigger problem...at least this time. I can remember when I had horrible car trouble with my old car...a 1990 Olds Cutlass Ciera. It was a great car for a while...until it started having problem after problem. And, it was even more difficult because I was out in Indiana...so I didn't have my dad to help me figure out what was wrong and be a nice guy and take me to work and let me borrow the car. So, phew...I still need to bring my car to my mechanic and see what he can do to fix the long term problem.

And now that my car troubles are over...I am planning on going shopping some night this week or this weekend. There are some things I have been looking for to buy, so I want to price them out and see. I probably won't buy much...it'll be more of a window shopping/investigation. I need to continue to buy some new clothes...I need to get some new umm...yeah...bras. You lose weight everywhere...including in the sisters. If only you could make a deal with your body...and say "keep this fat" but continue to burn off the fat on my tummy. But alas, it doesn't work that way. I also want to price out some different types of lamps, etc. I need a lamp for my office...maybe two. I am getting sick of the overhead florescent lighting...and I'd like it to be less bright. So, I am going to see about prices. Plus, I know my dad is interested in replacing the light fixtures in many of the rooms in the house. We have a lot of ancient ones with those ceiling fans attached. I know ceiling fans are not considered stylish...or so Trading Spaces has taught me, but well...I like them. I like that with a normal fan, they help circulate the air around the room...especially in the summer when it is hot hot hot. And the last thing I need to shop around for...is looking for a bike. It's getting to actually be spring like out there in terms of weather...and this year, I am going to start biking myself to work and around town whenever I can. I meant to do it last year, but I never got around to actually buying a bike. Given the cost of gas, my sometimes car issues and my increased interest in fitness related activities....it seems like the perfect time. So...biking here I come!

Now...if anyone wants to send me $$$$ to shop for all those things, it would be greatly appreciated. Yes, I know...the govt is sending me some money, but if you know me at all...you know I am taking that money and immediately putting it towards my student loans. lol

Monday Weigh-In and what stress will teach you...

Hi all! I woke up on Monday morning...with my legs a little sore and my knee kind of barking at me. But...I still felt good. Those aches were reminders of the race I ran, so I kind of smiled and grimaced at the same time. I usually do more of a cool down walk than I did yesterday AND I usually go shopping with my afterwards so I walk for another hour or so around stores...and yesterday after the race, I spent some time watching the TV...and that's about it.

Let's get to the weigh-in...I stepped on the scale and I lost another pound this week. At least it wasn't two! Since I have been pushing cardio so hard in preparation for the race, I was not surprised. Now that the race has come and gone...I can change my focus from cardio centered to weight training. I am starting the Body for Life 12 Week Challenge. It has you doing weight training 3 times per week and cardio 3 times per week. I will be doing a lot less cardio though...only 20 minutes at a time. So, I think it will be a nice, new change.

I think I am going to stop doing the weekly weigh-ins over there on the site. I am going to change the format...and report if I am in my range or not. I am going to give myself a 10 lb. range...and right now, I am at the bottom of that range since I would actually like to gain some weight. As soon as I am within the range, I'm cool. And then...if for 3 months, I stay within range...I am going to give myself a maintenance reward. So...that's my plan, Stan!

And what is this I mentioned about stress? Well...this morning, I went down to start my car and it wouldn't start. I often have a security issue with my car...so I didn't think it was a big deal, but then I realized it still wasn't starting. I wasn't sure if it just needed a jump...or if it was the starter or the alternator...or if it was the security system finally going belly up. My dad is a doll...and took me to work. I knew I couldn't deal with it until I got home. And..once I got to work, what was going to be a quiet, easy day turned into a busy day...where I had to spend the whole morning in the jail dealing with something I wasn't expecting.

So, I came back from the jail right before lunch...a tad bit stressed. What makes me happy about all this stress is how I dealt with it. One of my main issues with long term weight management is that I have always been an emotional eater. Overall, I eat pretty healthy...but when life sucks or when I am stressed out, I tend to go right to emotionally eating. What made me happy today...is that I didn't even think about ordering a pizza or getting some crap food out of the vending machine. Being on this plan...made me deal with my emotions and not feed them. I learned to recognize I was stressed...and realize that everything was out of my control. Once I did that...I calmed right down and I was in a great mood. So, I've lost a bunch of weight...got into better shape physically...but I've also dealt with the internal/emotional issues I have with food. With well...rocks.

BTW- AAA came and jumped my car...and it runs. I figured out the problem...and need a repair down the line, but dodged a bullet for right now.

Hugs all...Happy Monday!

What else to talk about on a Monday?

Yep, that's right...it's Monday...so I thought I should update how the health and fitness plan o' Shelley is doing. As I said before, I am glad I got my run in on Saturday...I can't believe the race is this Sunday. I think I keep letting myself forget, so I don't completely freak out. I feel ready though...I know I am not going to run it fast, but honestly...I don't care...I know I am fit and in shape to finish the race and I wasn't there last year...heck, I wasn't there in January. I was remembering in January...the first time I went out for a run. I had been rocking the elliptical, so I thought..."Hey, running isn't much different...so I'll just jog out a mile and then come back." I headed out...I walked to the edge of my apartment complex and then I started running...and within a 1/4 of a mile, I was out of breath and walking. I felt so defeated. I started to think that even though I lost this weight...and I am in better shape...that I still can't run even a mile.

Then, I went home...and decided I was not giving up. I made a plan...and decided to keep going. The next time...I ran a little farther before I slowed to a walk...and then a couple weeks later, I ran over to my dad's house...and was able to run 2.5 miles without stopping...then 3 miles...then 3.5...then I went for 5...and made it. I am more proud of myself for not giving up than I am for being able to job continuously for 5 miles. This process has reminded me what is possible...if you don't give up when faced with a challenge.

Alright...enough of that stuff...it sounds like a Tony Robbins motivation speech...and eww! On to the bare bones of the weigh-in report. I've been trying to stop losing weight...and so far, I am still struggling to figure that out. It's slowly getting better...but I still don't have the balance yet. I weighed in this morning...and lost 2 more lbs this week for a total of 79 lbs. Holy bejesus! I think part of it...is that I am pushing cardio hard lately in preparation for the race coming up. After Sunday, I am going to switch from cardio focused to weight training focused. I won't stop running or the elliptical, but it won't be the prime focus. Another thing I am working on...is trying to bump my calories up. I have gotten really used to the calories I was eating...so, it seems like I am stuffing myself with food in the last couple of weeks. It's all about food selection though.....for lunch, I can have a huge salad, a big bowl of yogurt with fresh or frozen fruit, some whole wheat crackers and some cottage cheese...all for under 300 calories. Or I can have a sandwich...with high sodium meat, mayo, bread and potato chips....which is much less food...and much more calories. So...it's all about choices. I've truly learned to make some nice choices...and not wasting my calories on things.

OK...I am watching Dancing With The Stars...and watching Penn from Penn & Teller dance is just flippin' hilarious, so I gotta get back to it! *winks*

Run, run, run....

Happy Saturday all....

This week seemed to fly right by...unlike last week that seemed to snail along. Who knows what the difference was.

I went for my standard run today...and for the last couple of weeks, I have cut my runs short. This week, no matter what...I was going to run the 5 miles. I made sure to eat enough before I headed out (which was my mistake last time). I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast...and then had an english muffin with PB and a banana right before the run. It kept me fueled and full for the entire run.

This run was important to me...because it was the last big run before the race next weekend. I am excited...and also getting nervous. It's going to be fun though. I'm not a fast runner at all, but I can't wait to cross that finish line...even if I am the last person to do it. I am just proud that I set a goal...and then attacked it.

Or another thing I am proud of...is my semi-good computer skills. lol My roomie got a new laptop a couple of weeks ago, so she connected to the wireless router. Ever since she did that...my computer was connecting to the computer super slow. It was driving me nuts last weekend...every page was taking 1-2 minutes to load. I was NOT having it.

So, I started trouble shooting. The first thing I did was run a virus check on my computer. It does it daily, but I wanted to be sure it wasn't a trojan slowing up my machine. No viruses. Then, I updated my spyware software...and ran that again. I also downloaded a program my brother told me about...that really cleans your computer of any bugs. I was following command prompt after command prompt as I was running all these cleaning programs. It didn't find a lot...and it didn't help my internet connection run any faster.

Now, what I did 3rd is probably what I should have done first...since I thought it would probably fix it. I figured the virus checks and the spyware removal was good for my computer anyways. What actually fixed the problem...was unplugging the modem and router...and leaving them off for 5 minutes and then booting them back up. See...half of all computer trouble shooting is turning something off and turning it back on. I think the router I have is kind of crap, but well...they are expensive, so I am not looking to replace it...but it does mean it needs to be rebooted every few months.

I am glad I know a few things about computers...because if I had to call someone for help...I wouldn't have gotten any real help. Who do I call? The cable company? Dell? The router retailer? The modem retailer? And of course...each company you call...will tell you it is someone else's issue. Luckily, if I do get stuck...my brother is a mad genius when it comes to trouble shooting computers, so instead of calling the companies...I call him.

Anyways...enough babbling. I hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday...and if you celebrate Easter, have a fabulous one. Hugs all.

Weight Loss sometimes equals hair loss...

As it is obvious by more than half of my posts here, I've been working a weight loss program for about 6 months. Well, 6 months this time, but weight management is something that has been a goal of mine since...well...since forever.

This is the most successful I have ever been...evidenced by losing 77 pounds to date. Let me tell you, there are some negative side effects to losing weight. One, you have to spend money on clothes since many of your favorite outfits can no longer be favorites because they don't fit. Two, you end up spending more money on food at times because the quality of the food you put into your body becomes more important than the price tag. Another negative is that since I have lost tons of weight, my hair has actually thinned some. The research tends to say that this happens at about the 40 lbs. lost mark. I guess your body realizes that it is losing a good chunk of it's mass, so it concerns itself less with maintaining non-essential things like hair. Luckily, I have a lot of hair and it is thick...so the thinning isn't very noticeable. It's noticeable to me...but it's not some of the horror stories I have read on the internet. I have read about people having bald spots while losing weight, etc. Mine is just a thinner ponytail. And, the good news is that once you stop losing weight...the original thickness of your hair comes back...not overnight, but it does come back.

Anyways, I was lucky enough to get a free sample of this shampoo and conditioner from Naked Naturals and got the chance to try it out. Here is the kind they sent me...



Now, I am usually very picky about shampoo and conditioner that I will use. One of the main reasons is for moral reasons. I won't use any shampoo or conditioner that is tested on animals or made with any animal products. Being the vegetarian that I am, that's probably not much of a shock. Now what is often surprising is how many types of hair care products I cannot use. I can't just buy a new type of product, I have to research it. The first thing I did when I got this sample is head to naked naturals website and check it out. I am happy to report that it contains no animal products and it is not tested on animals.

Secondly, I like products that don't just make my hair smell pretty, but also does something for it. Now, this product does smell great...the lavender scent is wonderful. I have it in my hair right now...and it smells amazing. What I love even more than it smelling like a bouquet of flowers is that it is helping my hair stay strong and healthy...especially given the hit it has taken due to the weight loss. The website advertises that is has 7X the protein of normal products. That is a huge benefit...because it is strengthening my hair each and every time I use it. I have only used it a couple of times, so I haven't noticed a huge difference...but I did see less hair around the drain the last time I took a nice, hot shower. I LOVED LOVED LOVED the free sample and I am definitely going to buy the product. They have some other amazing scents too...I saw a citrus one that looks scrumdiddlyumptious.

If you ever see some of this stuff at the store or at your salon, pick some up. I swear, you won't be disappointed. It's good for your hair. It's good for the environment...and it's good for those cute little animals.

Monday= Weigh-In!

Hi everyone...it's Monday and of course, that means it is weigh-in day. I had a really good...really nice weekend. I got my run in on Saturday....worked out on the elliptical on Sunday and what not. I felt really strong and healthy.

I am still losing weight in transition, but this week...hopefully that will stop or at least slow down. I am adding back in grains and bread this morning...I am eating some Multigrain cheerios right now. Mmmm....I also bought some english muffins and some Special K cereal. Yummilicious!

Anyways...I said I did lose weight this week and yep, I lost 3 lbs this week. I was actually surprised this morning when I stepped on the scale. I weigh everyday...because well, I like to know how I am doing on a daily basis. It drives some people nuts, but not me...instead it gives me good information because I don't get emotional about what the scale says. Well, my weight was holding at 1 lb lost...all the way up to Sunday morning. Well...it jumped from 1 lb to 3 lbs from Sunday to Monday. It shouldn't be that shocking since I often lose more over the weekend...I'll stay the same all week long and then drop my weight between Saturday and Monday morning.

So, I lost weight...and didn't even mean to. I think part of the issue is I have been pushing working out because I am training for the race coming up in 2 weeks. If my weight continues to go down, I will add even more food. It's shocking how much food you CAN eat when you eat the right types of foods. Quality verses quantity.

NEWS FLASH: I went to Target today....looking for any good sales and hopefully to buy a pair of pants or two. I have some that don't fit at all anymore, even with a belt. Well...guess who bought a size 8 pair of pants today? I DID! They weren't on sale, but I liked them...so I splurged. And by splurge...I mean that I spent 20 bucks on a pair of pants. I would like to though buy some engraved plaques that say, "Hey I wear a size 8!!!!" and wear it around my neck constantly...Flavor Flav style. Holy carp people! I never thought I would be a person wearing single digit clothing..ever. The smallest I was the last time I lost weight was a 12...and then I bought some size 10 pants back in January. And every single size 10 I tried on today...was too big. So, I grabbed some 8s...and every single one fit and some were LOOSE. Holy bejesus! Can you tell I am a little excited???

Busy and fun Saturday....

Ah...the weekend is almost over. How did that happen so fast? I'm happy to report that I did get my run in on Saturday. It was raining when I got up, but it quickly stopped...so I strapped on my shoes and headed out. I didn't eat enough before heading out, so I ran out of gas and stopped at 4 miles, but still...FOUR MILES. I'm not complaining.

Saturday was also my roomie's bday. It was one of those birthdays that ends with a ZERO. I won't say which one...you'll have to figure it out. We went to the movies and then watched a rented movie. We went to see Vantage Point, which was pretty good. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it, but I did. I thought it was cool how they showed the same 20 minutes from a bunch of people's different views...hence why it is called Vantage Point. There was a guy sitting a few rows behind us who was SO annoyed every time the movie went back to the same starting point...I guess he didn't google the plot before going to see it. The rented movie we watched was Dan In Real Life. It was cute...and Steve Carell and Dane Cook with both quite funny.

What did I get my roomie for her bday? Well...I made a mint no bake cheesecake for her to take and eat with her family. I knew it wasn't on my diet, so I was glad she could enjoy it with them. She said it was good and they liked it...in fact, I think her sister got very excited about it. LOL I also got her 2 books about MS, health and weight loss. She's doing all the research she can and they have a lot of ideas and meals plans in there...so I hope she finds them helpful. I also got her some smelly stuff from Tar-get...and some pistachios...cause they are yummy and she likes them. I think that's it...oh yeah...and a kick @rse card.

Saturday was kind of a busy day...which is kind of nice since I usually am not the Queen of Productive and Running around. What have I done today? Well...maybe if you are lucky, I will save that for another entry. *winks*

Holy wind Batman....and a weigh-in too!

Hey kids....it's Monday and that means we all survived Daylight Savings Time and the loss of our hour of sleep. Before I get to that elusive weigh-in stats, let me recap my weekend for you. (I like to keep you in suspense!)

I really wanted to get my run in on Saturday because I missed it last Saturday due to having to work and there being a huge snow storm. I have gotten used to having my Saturday runs, so I missed the week without it. The weather report looked bleak again...and it said it might be a day of rain/sleet/freezing rain. Pfft to that! It said it might not start until late morning, so I got up an hour earlier...and headed out on my run earlier than usual. I got about 3 miles and change in...and it started raining. I thought I would tough it out for a while, but then the wind picked up some too...and the rain was cold and biting. So, I turned in early...and only went a little over 4 miles. I am glad though...that I got most of it in...and didn't ditch the whole run because of the possibility of rain.

Ah, Daylight Saving Time...it's upon us again. I love this time of year...when it stays late so much later. Remember those times in summer when drive-in movies don't start until at least 9pm because that is when it really starts to turn to dusk. I love having the light for so much more of the day. I did feel like I missed the sleep though...because of the DAMN wind! I tried to go to bed early on Saturday night...to steal that extra hour of sleep back, but the wind was howling...and it was so loud. I was amazed at how intense it was...I was worried the power was going to go out...and it almost did. I was awake well past midnight...and that's late for me, so it's obvious I didn't get to snag an extra hour of sleep. I also didn't get to sleep in on Sunday...because I was up bright and early for church. I could have skipped it, but I committed to going to church each and every Sunday during the Lentin period...and I believe in honoring my commitments.

I did catch a quick nap on Sunday afternoon...and that helped. Of course, it just made me not tired for going to bed until about 11pm on Sunday night, but I still went to bed at 10pm because I am a creature of habit. I watched a little crap TV and was in dreamland sometime after 11pm.

Alright....on to this weigh-in mumbo jumbo. As I've said, I am working on transitioning....and stopping this weight loss momentum. I am working on maintaining...something I have never done well. I can lose weight pretty easily...and gain weight even easier. But staying the same weight...or within the same weight range, is much more difficult for me. I usually go immediately from losing weight to gaining weight. Not going to play that game again...I swear it. Well, my body is obviously still in losing mode....since I lost 3 freakin' pounds this week.

I'm still following the plan...I figure, the plan worked during the weight loss portion, so I need to trust it and follow it during the transition phase. Plus, I get to add even more things in this week. I had already been adding in those starchy and sugary veggies like corn and carrots....added in fruit (oh how I love fruit!)....and this week...adding more dairy in. I bought some yogurt that I cannot wait to try. Next week...I add in grains...which means bread in some sense or another. I haven't had bread in so many months...I think that will be the most bizarre of all.

Let's hope next week doesn't see another drop on the scale...because if it does, I might start eating a diet full of just ice cream and candy! lol (just kidding people...no need to send a diet intervention my way! )

I'm a happy kid...cause it's Friday!

Hey y'all.....Happy Friday! I am glad it is the end of the week...and that the weekend is upon us.

Anyone have any fun and exciting plans this weekend? Not too much for me...just more of the same ol', same old. I hope to get a run in on Saturday morning, but right now I am not sure if the weather is going to work with me. We are supposed to get some rain and possibly sleet tonight...and then there is going to be a window tomorrow until late morning and then it is starting all over again. So, my run will depend on how bad the sleet is...and what time late morning actually means. If it doesn't start until 10:30am or 11am...I could most likely get my run in before it, but if it starts spitting and being all nasty at like 9am...probably no run for me. So, cross your fingers that the weather holds out...at least until I can get my running shoes on and across town.

And then, I am doing the standard shopping...and running a few errands. My dad and I might look for new patio furniture for the back porch. We have some, but it's kind of old...and therefore, ratty. I am not sure if we need new ones or if we just have to power wash the ones we have...to pretty them up. I figure...we'll look around while we are puttering through Wal-Mart and Target during our Saturday shopping adventures.

I also have to make sure I get some much needed workouts in this weekend....I didn't workout on Wednesday or Thursday this week. I woke up with a huge charlie horse on Tuesday morning...and the pain lingered around for a few days. So, basically...my lower right leg felt like it wanted to fall off. I did think that running on the elliptical was probably a bad idea then, eh? I massaged the bejesus out of my calf muscle last night...and took a nice, hot shower and massaged it again...and voila...it feels so much better this morning. I'll be hitting the elliptical tonight...hopefully running tomorrow...and elliptical or weights on Sunday. I usually skip working out on Sunday, but not since I skipped two days during the week.

Alright...that's about all I have for updates. I hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend! Hugs all around....

Oops...missed Monday's weigh-in report!

My bad y'all....I let Monday come and go without mentioning anything about my weekly stepping on the scale. I weighed in...I just forgot to tell you all about it.

Well, this week...as I have been transitioning out of the weight loss phase and into the maintenance phase, I still lose 2 lbs. I am going to trust the transitioning process...and know that my weight may fluctuate a little bit in the next few weeks to a month. I'll have to make some changes if I keep losing at this even clip, but I also want to give the transition period a chance to work. What a problem to have, eh? Worried about losing too much...I never thought I'd be saying that.

I am adding a new food group item...each and every week. Last week, I added more veggies...and some of those forbidden veggies. I hadn't been eating things like carrots or corn because even though they are healthy...they are the starchier of the vegetables. So, last week...those resurfaced! And this week, I am adding fruit back into my diet. I have missed fruit something fierce...and last night...eating my thawed out frozen peaches...it was like I was in heaven. In the next coming weeks...I am adding more dairy to my diet and then adding in the grains. I've gotten so used to not eating any bread or anything in the grains family...that I know that is going to take some getting used to.

As for exercise, I didn't get my run in on Saturday...which of course...bummed me out. I really look forward to it each and every week. I had to work in the morning...and even if I did...we got hammered with quite a snow storm, so running outside wouldn't have been an option. I didn't just laze around though...I spent a lot of time with Mr. Elliptical over the weekend and made up for my lack of run. Next Saturday though...I am hoping that the weather is on my side and I get another run in, especially since my race is now less than a month away.

Hugs to all....and I hope everyone is having a healthy and happy week!

Monday Weigh-In 2/25

Hi kids....it's Monday, so of course...it's weigh-in day.

Oh, I never updated about if I got to go on my run...and how it went. I did go on my run. The weather was alright...and even warm (for February). The temp was in the high 20s...so it felt balmy compared to last week's run. I headed out...and planned on getting th 5.25 miles in. My main objective was to work on my time...and try to get a better pace. I ran the first mile as I usually do...and then every ten minutes I would run for at least one minute at a faster pace. I figured it was the best way to pick up my pace.

It worked....I ran a slow 15 minute mile last Saturday. It took me 75 minutes to run 5.2 miles. This week...I ran 5.25 miles and got it done in 62 minutes. Holy smokes. I am shocked I finished the same distance 13 minutes faster. I expected it to be a smidge better, but while I was running it...it didn't seem all that much faster. If I do the math, I ran about a 12 minute mile...and for right now, I'll take it. I need to keep working on it before the race in March, but all in all...I am a happy, happy girl.

Okay...enough about running. What about this weigh-in? I started my transition program last week. Not a lot changed, but I am slowly adding things back in. So, since things weren't different...I wouldn't have been surprised if I still lost weight. And...I did. I lost 2 lbs this week for a total of 69 lbs this week. I can't believe I am one pound shy of having lost 70 lbs. That just seems nuts since at first...I thought it would be great if I could lose 45 lbs. I got to the point that I didn't want to do the job half assed like I have every time before. I didn't want to stop until it was done. And now...I am there.

Whoo to the hoo people!!!

Saturday report....

Happy Saturday everyone!!!

I can't believe I haven't updated since Tuesday...I kept meaning to, but then I didn't. So, for today...I will do a bunch of mini-updates.

I think my roomie is feeling better...or at least that's what she says in email. I work days and she works nights, so I don't actually see her until the weekend comes around. She says her voice is still shot, but she is working towards being healthy again. That's great...and what else is great is that to this point...I have not gotten sick. *knocking on wood* The only thing that really happened...is that the constant washing of my hands...has left them super dry and I have a heat rash that has broken out on one of my hands from the constant washing in hot water. I'll survive though...and I am moisturizing like a mo'fo.

I did my taxes this week. I e-filed, so it doesn't take much effort...just entered all the info in the little boxes and clicked send. I am supposed to get my money back sometime next week. I plan on just using the money to pay off more school loans and what not, so nothing exciting...but I feel good having them done.

I had a good day at work yesterday. A client I haven't seen in about 2 years came to the office to say hello and catch up. He wasn't doing so well for a while, so it was great to see him...and see him doing well. It put a big huge smile on my face to see him walk into the office. Sometimes...the work I do can get overwhelming. The success stories are few and far between...so, it's nice to see someone on the right path, no matter how long or what it took for him to get himself there. It left me in a cheery mood on Friday.

And now...I am hoping to get my Saturday run in. It snowed yesterday, but it's stopped now. I hope the roads are safe enough because I would be really sad to not have my run. Today, I am going to run the 5 miles again, but I am also going to work on my speed. I think I am going to do some interval training. I am going to run my normal jogging speed for 4 minutes and then sprint for the 5th minute...then run for another 4 minutes...then sprint. I hope that will help me pick up my speed over the entire run...and keep me going for the whole five miles. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Alright...I'm off to start my Saturday. I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!

Cleanse away....

I went to BJ's with my dad this weekend....I love that store. I think it feeds the part of me that LOVES getting a deal on stuff. I bought some protein shake powder...and some vitamins...a bag of candy for work. I used to buy a lot of snack food there, but haven't lately since much of it just isn't as healthy as I used to think it was.

When I was over in the vitamin section...I saw all these cleanse products. They intrigue me. I had seen the ones for the colon cleanse before. I want to do more research on them. I wonder if they are effective, if they work. I know a lot of people buy them hoping to lose a few pounds doing just that. That's not why I would like to try it. I've been eating pretty low carb/high protein for months now...and I heard that it can hard on colon over time. So, if a product like this...can help maintain my colon's health...that's a good thing, eh? I just don't know if they work...how they work...why they work. Hmm, it's time to use google search and read up. (What did we do before the internet??? lol)

Another cleanse I saw was a liver cleanse. I had never heard of that at all before. I read the bottle and it says it really helps with gallbladder function. My immediate response was...it's probably something alcoholics should use since their liver gets damaged so much, but is it something we all could use? Well, the liver is the organ that takes all of the toxins out of our body, so maybe. I am not as interested in this one as I am in the colon cleanse...but, it definitely is something I wanna read up on.

I need to go see a new PCP doctor within the next month...and I am going to ask him/her about these cleanse products and see what they say. I know that we lived for a long, long time without them, but in the age of processed foods and additives in everything we eat, maybe it would help more than hurt.

Has anyone ever tried a cleanse?? What did you think of it? Do you recommend it? Google search can tell me a lot of info, but personal stories are always great information.