Thursday Thirteen #11

I haven't done a TT in a couple of weeks...Thursday is often a busy day for me at both jobs, but I think I can squeeze in a quick TT!

Thirteen Things about Shelley's Day Yesterday 1. My alarm went off at 6am. 2. I snoozed my alarm until 6:36am. 3. I watched Good Morning America while getting ready for work. 4. When I left for work, I had to turn around because I left my lunch at home on the kitchen counter. 5. I got to work at 8:07am. 6. I went for two walks at work yesterday...both about 15 minutes in length. 7. I got out of work at 4pm and was surprised when I got home to find that my roommate didn't go to work at all that day. 8. I wanted to workout, but having my roommate home made me rethink that. 9. I decided working out was important and jumped on the elliptical for 33 minutes while she was watching tv. 10. I had pizza for dinner. It was mushroom, hand tossed pizza from Pizza Hut. 11. I watched some of the Comic Relief 2006 I had Tivo'ed and then watched America's Next Top Model. 12. I would like Caridee to win America's Next Top Model. 13. I ended up feeling exhausted at about 9:30pm, so I hopped into bed and fell asleep sometime afer 10pm. It was kind of a boring day...but there you have it.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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tagged

TC tagged me...so I thought I would be a cool cat and play along.

Christmas Songs Meme: This one is pretty easy. List (at least) five of your favorite Christmas songs and tag (at least) five of your favorite blog friends to keep your MEME going.

1. Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer
2. Frosty the Snowman
3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
4. Joy to the World
5. Silent Night

and a sixth for good luck...

The 12 Pains of Christmas



Who Have I Tagged:

Jen
Heather
Sarah
Renee
Michelle

and a sixth for extra good luck...
Yvonne

Tyra Banks...gets me to get real with my bad self!

I did good yesterday...I did get into a small eating frenzy last night...I ate 2 packs of fruit snacks, some peanuts and some trail mix. But, I am NOT freaking about that...because my "snacking" was much more healthy than any of my eating has been in the last month or so. If I consider cheating to be having some fruit snacks and some trail mix...I'll take it.

Tonight..I already have it planned to have pizza for dinner and I am okay with that too. I know I have some extra gained weight to get rid of, but that doesn't mean that I have to stop all aspects of living. I won't eat pizza or take out every single day, but I can have it every once in a while. So far...I have worked out twice this week...which is more than I have done altogether in the last two weeks. My plan is...to go home, workout, order the pizza and then eat it. I figure...I didn't eat fabulously, but I still burned some calories, so good deal!

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, so I ended up watching most of the Tyra Banks show...I have no idea how I even ended up on the channel. Anyways...the show was on women and body image. First of all...I find it ironic that a Victoria Secret Supermodel is doing a show on women and negative body image...I imagine having these women just stand next to her made them feel even worse about their bodies. But then again...that isn't fair...just because Tyra is beautiful and envied and worshipped by millions doesn't mean she doesn't have her own body issues. I am sure she often sees that same distorted thinking that many of us see.

I started thinking a lot about myself and body image...and how warped my own thoughts are. I have been overweight most of my life...either a little or a lot. And even when I wasn't overweight...I was in my head. I can remember when I moved to Indiana in 2000...and I was at my all-time thinnest. I absolutely thought I still had 20 pounds to lose. I can remember in 2003...when I had gained most of the weight back and a friend showed me a picture from 2000...and how tiny my legs were. But if you asked me in 2000...I would have remarked at how thick my legs were and how I needed to lose inches around my thighs and my stomach and my etc, etc. I didn't think I looked good, attractive, sexy...any of it.

And now...I am close to being back at that weight. I know I look better than I did...but I am not satisfied with how I look. I still see those problem areas...the work that I think needs to be done. Even though I had that awareness years ago...it hasn't changed the thoughts in my head. I feel that I need to be at goal...toned and fit...in order to be attractive. I feel that I can't have pudge around my waist. I dress to hide my problem areas or my size...so I often am wearing these tent sweaters. Today I am wearing a form fitting sweater...and I am so uncomfy in it. I keep pulling on it...because it isn't covering me up enough. I know that I present myself as even less attractive than I actually am...because I have such shame and embarassment about my pudge.

I know I have work to do, but well...I just don't know how to change that dialogue in my head. I want to be thin. I want to have a body that I can be proud of...and for me, I am not sure I will ever be content. I want to be...I want to be content and not afraid to show it off...even if it involves some curves. I think all the side comments I have heard all my life; someone mooing at me when they rode by me on their bike when I was a kid, people saying "you have such a pretty face"...if only you didn't ruin it with all that fat, not going to school dances because I can't fit into the cool dresses everyone else is wearing, etc.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the sadness of how much life I have not lived...because of my thoughts about my fat.

Day 1 Redux

My Fresh Start Day 1 went really well yesterday....I ate to plan and exercised...and it all felt quite good. I was craving some Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream...since I have been eating tons lately, but well....I didn't cave and felt better because of it.

Here is a rundown of what I ate and exercised yesterday:

Water Intake: 100 oz.

Breakfast
Protein Shake

Snack
Protein Shake

Lunch
Small Salad with Cheese and Basalmic Vinagrette Dressing
Light String Cheese
Sugar Free Pudding Cup

Snack
Peanuts
Protein Shake

Dinner
Fake Chicken Strips in teryaki sauce(not the best things...and it's disappointing because I thought I would love them)
Broccoli, water chestnuts and baby corn

Snack
Cranberry Splash Sierra Mist Soda

Exercise:
2- 15 minute walks at work
30 minutes on the elliptical

All in all...a good day. I just need to string a bunch of these together and I might just have a roll going! And for today...so far, so good!

And speaking of that Cranberry Sierra Mist....mmm...mmmm...is it good! It is their holiday drink, so it might only be around for a couple of months, if that. And...it doesn't come in diet which just breaks my heart. If it came in diet...I might just buy it in bulk. I bought a 12 pack of cans and figure...I can use it for a dessert or for a treat. The hint of cranberry is very very nice!

Back in the saddle again....

This lack of motivation must stop....and I am going to take this lazy, backsliding attitude by the reins and stop it.

I am going to start again...and start with a little less gusto. A little LESS gusto??? Yep...I figure that one of my problems is that I start with such intensity that I always seem to go fine for a while and then lose steam...and I think I set myself up for that kind of failure.

What I am going to do...

1) I am going to go back to writing down everything I eat. I am going to attempt to eat between 1200 and 1800 calories a day. That seems like a pretty big range of calories...and it is...but I am meaning for it to be that way. I want there to be leeway, so that I don't either eat fabulously or drown myself in ice cream.

2) I am going to keep my 30 Day Challenges going. I am getting close to finishing the "No Candy Challenge" and then after that....I am going to throw the first three challenges altogether and do a "No Candy, No Soda, No Take Out Food" Challenge. I am going to do a small "altogether" challenge and see how that goes. I still have some individual challenges left to do as well...a No Ice Cream Challenge...a 30 Days of exercise challenge.

3) I am going to get back to working out...because I haven't done that. I am going to aim for working out at least 30 minutes at least 3 times a week. If I do more...that's great...but I at least need to get that done.

4) I am going to buy the membership in mid-December. I am excited about taking the Saturday Step classes again...and I think it will really help me keep my goals in mind. Plus...I know that having a good fitness level and conditioning is key for that class.

Things I did well today:

1) Ate to plan so far today.
2) Took a 15 minute walk at work.
3) Packed my lunch and made sure it will fill me up and is healthy.

P.S. I could tell I was getting ready to refocus. Why? Because I spent all weekend cleaning. I cleaned the kitchen...mopped the floor...cleaned out the fridge and threw away a lot of food. I also cleaned the bathroom and the living room. I still have laundry and a little upkeep in my room to do, but I can see a change in my philosophy and way of living...and that's a good sign.

Here goes....and send me warm and happy thoughts!!!!

And the day after....

Hey y'all...I survived Thanksgiving...or as my family calls, "Lasagna Day!" Both my brother and I are veggie kids, so we haven't had turkey at Thanksgiving in a long time. My parents had ham...which my mom almost threw all over the floor...which to me was hilarious!

I ate too much, but not too much...I had some stuffing...I love me my stuffing. Mmm...stuffing! I ate pickles and olives and some cranberry sauce....out of a can. I had a tiny bit of mashed potatoes and some yummy taters that my mom made with asparagus. I also had a little bit of the chick pea salad I love so much.

And of course...dessert was a slice of carrot cake.

So yeah...I did eat too much, but that's alright...it could have been a lot worse. I worked at the video store in the evening...which is well worth it because I got paid a time and a half for my time there....and I got to make people feel guilty for us being open and ripped away from our families. That's right you selfish customers! *winks*

I got home about 1am....I have a story of why it took me that long to get home, but that is a story for another day. When I got home I saw my roomie car in the parking lot...she was supposed to stay with her family for the evening. And then when I went into the apartment there was a note on our dry erase board which said.."I hate Thanksgiving." That's so sad. I know she often does not get along with her family...so family time is not as joyous and fun as my family time. I am not sure how the day went for her...but with the note...I am sure it was not well. I guess that reminded me to truly be thankful...for my family and the constant, unconditional love we all have for one another. I adore my family...and know that no matter if we fight or squabble that we love each other to the stars and back.

Hope everyone's holiday was fabulous...and that they are recovering from all the eats and such. I have to work today at the day job, but it ain't bad...it is the laziest work day ever. *yawns* I do feel that I need a nap though....think I can get away with that at work??

Happy Birthday to my Mommy!!!!

Today is my mommy birthday...so happy birthday Mommy! I took the day off work today so that I could take her out to lunch and such...since this week is pretty much all about Thanksgiving and such, but I want today to be about my mommy and her birthday.

What did I do this weekend? Not a whole heck of a lot. On Saturday...my roommate and I celebrated Leo Day. What is Leo day you ask?? Well...my roommate loathes the movie, "The Titanic" and because of it...she has an irrational hatred of Leonardo DiCaprio. I happen to be a fan of Leo and think that in many of his movies...he is an absolutely fabulous actor.

So...I decided we should have a Leo Day...a day where I sat her down and had her watch a few Leo movies which are think he is quite great in. It was my attempt to show her that he is more than the fluff movie which was Titanic. We watched "This Boy's Life" "Basketball Diaries" "Romeo and Juliet" and "Gangs of New York."

My personal favorite Leo movie is "Basketball Diaries." I dare someone to watch that movie and not respect Leo's acting talent....he is just amazing to watch in that role...his commitment to the character. We didn't watch "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" which is another Leo movie I adore...and think he rocks in...because my roommate had already seen it.

I don't think she is a fan of Leo as of yet...but I think she might not have as much disdain for him as an actor...and in that sense...Leo Day was a success.

I also watched some documentaries this weekend....I watched Hacking Democracy...a new documentary on HBO about the electronic voting machines. It was haunting to watch...and really makes me desperately sad about our state or elections and how easily they can be manipulated and bought. This documentary really broke my heart...watch it if you get the chance.

And the other documentary that I watched was Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth. It was also heart breaking to watch...to see the science and facts behind the damage we are doing to our planet. I don't know when it will be enough...so that the politicians will make decisions that value our planet and our future on it. There is a little cartoon about a frog where it jumps into boiling water...and immediately jumps out because it is too hot, etc...but then the frog jumps into lukewarm water and the water gradually gets hotter...and the frog just sits there and boils. That is where we are...nothing is shocking us enough to do something...we just don't seem to care that in 50 or 100 years that the earth might be damaged beyond repair...unless it is effecting us today...sadly...we just don't care. Anyways...watch this one as well...and then commit to changing one thing..heck five things...in your everyday life in order to reduce global warming. I know I plan to.

Sometimes I think we are meant to struggle...

I haven't written about any weight loss stuff in a while...one...because I have beena smidge hyperfocused about the election things and two...cause I have been the Queen of Suck when it has come to everything diet related.

I haven't been working out...I have been eating crap with a side of crap. I just haven't been able to refocus myself. Aurgh! I know I need to do better, but each and everyday...I just don't do it.

I know the first thing I need to add back in is the exercise...and then everything will come from there. I am going to keep doing the weight training and the elliptical until mid decemeber...and then I am JOINING THE YMCA!

Alright...I guess I should get a little work done instead of just whining about how I am eating crap and not working out...and shockingly...I am gaining weight.

24 Fact!

I saw this image on the internet and just felt like sharing it. It made me giggle...and of course made me miss the heck out of 24!



Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!

It's like Christmas for Democrats...

We all know I am a democrat...heck...I listed it in the "About Me" section to the left. And...given the dem that I am...you can image my disappointment and frustration with the last few elections. So...yeah...you could say I was more than content to wake up on Wednesday morning and see that things might be swinging back in the other direction.

So...yeah...this week has been like Christmas for the Dems!

1) For Dems in New York. Somehow...Kirsten Gillibrand won for Congress. Everyone said that John Sweeney was going to be able to win without even trying...for much of the election he was ahead by 20 percentage points at least. But slowly and surely...Gillibrand was closing in on him...and then come election day...to the shoke of many, including myself...Gillibrand came out with the win. Now I will say...I am ashamed by both of these candidates because this was such a nasty election and neither needed to do what they did. But in the end...I am very happy to see John Sweeney out of office and very interested to see what Kirsten Gillibrand will do as a Congressperson.

2) The Dems won the House...most people thought they would, but then again...in 2004 I heard tons of news people saying Kerry was going to take the election, so I don't believe that something is going to actually happen in terms of elections...until it does. Poling is an important thing, but it is only a guess based on the responses they get. You never know...til ya know. But yeah...the Dems took the house and then some.

3) And then came Rumsfeld resigning...I heard about it at lunchtime yesterday. I have felt that Rumsfeld intentionally deceived people and was arrogant about it. I felt that Rumsfeld was static and unwilling to listen...so that new ideas and directions in Iraq that might help our troops out of harms way might happen. Rumsfeld was also very antagonistic with Congress and with the press...and felt it was uncalled for and unprofessional...given his position. I also felt that Bush was never going to get rid of him...but well...after the pummeling that he took on Tuesday...Bush did what he should have done at least a year ago. Good riddance Donald Rumsfeld...as far as I am concerned...you will not be missed.

4) and then...our final Christmas gift was hearing that even though the senate election in Virginia is not finalized...that the Dems will take the Senate as well. The Republicans have the power in the White House...and the Dems now have the power in Congress.

So...what does the Democratic party do with these Christmas gifts? That's a really good question. My party has been without any power or real voice for so long...and now we have it....and have a responsibility to it. I have heard that issues such as the minimum wage will be brought to the foreground pretty quickly...and that there will be some frank discussions about Iraq. Are the Dems going to want all the troops withdrawn today? I can guarantee that is a no...but I think we need to make sure we have a plan...that doesn't involve just staying the course and watching more troops and civilians die each month.

I am not sure how much will actually get done in the next 2 years...it might be a lot of political gridlock...if Bush and the Dems cannot work together. Bush can veto anything he wants and the Dems don't have enough of a majority to override his veto, so we will see. In an ideal world...both parties could work together and play nice, but well...we have never been too good at that...either side.

ooh...and one final political comment...Tom Vilsac...the Governor of Iowa says that he plans on announcing his intent to run for President in 2008 today. Umm...ok. I have two comments about that. Vilsac has attempted to run twice and not succeeded...get the hint buddy...it ain't gonna happen. And two...every time I heard your last name...the word "ball sack" goes through my head...which is more evidence of why you can't be President of the United States. Give it up man...give it up! Ball sack, ball sack, ball sack.

pretty=good

For a couple of years now...I have constantly wanted to get a new look around here. I don't mind the standard Blogger templates, but I don't think that they really speak to who I am a person. So..I am going to look into either buying a design from someone...or I don't investing in some training and a program and learning how to do it. Knowing how cheap I am...I might invest in the training, but who knows. I just know I am growing tired of the green and yellow and brown dots....they just don't seem like me.

Taco Bean Soup

Hi everyone....I got a recipe from Sarah last month for a Turkey Taco Soup. It sounded and looked so good. It had meat in it...so I had to make a few changes in the recipe in order to make it vegetarian...and because I always have to tweak an ingredient or two.

I made it last night...and YUMMY...it is so good. I couldn't believe how scrumdiddlyumptious it was. Mmmm....mmmmm.....good!

Here is the recipe:

Taco Bean Soup

1.5 Cups Morningstar Soy Crumbles
2 Cans Stewed Italian Tomatoes
1 Can Black Beans, drained
1 Can Pinto Beans, drained
1 Can Garbanzo Beans, drained
1/2 bag frozen corn
1 pkg taco seasoning
1 pkg ranch dressing season
2 cups water

1. Cook up the soy crumbles until they are browned. You can add some garlic powder or chopped onion, if you like.
2. Add the stewed tomatoes, taco seasoning and ranch dressing and mix well. I used kitchen scissors to cut the tomatoes because the can I bought...the pieces of tomato were quite large.
3. Add the beans and water and mix.
4. Let simmer 45-50 minutes.

Enjoy! I figured out the calories and it is a little under 250 calories per serving. I served it with a dash of cheese on top. It had a lot of flavor and was SO filling! I highly recommend this meal and great thanks to SARAH for sharing this recipe with me.

the election is almost over!

It's election night...I went and voted at about 1:30pm and then went out and did some grocery shopping. I will be so happy when the elections are over tomorrow. The campaigns were so nasty this year...with both sides spending more time slinging mud and spreading lies...instead of saying what they will do. It's all so disheartening.

I was watching the news this evening...and they did a quick recap of the Vermont elections. I lived in Vermont for 5 years...and always had such respect for the type of politics they engage in. I have always been a Howard Dean supporter. Anyways...I saw that Bernie Sanders is leaving his longstanding position in the House and running for Jim Jeffords spot in the Senate. The news said he should win hands down. Yeah! Good for Sanders. He's a crazy, old man...but he is someone who votes for the people and their interests...and someone who just can't be bought. I wish all politicians could be more like Bernie...well...minus the hair!

Speaking of the news...there is a lot of election coverage tonight...as there should be. But...you know what disturbs me?? That tonight...ABC will halt election coverage from 8-9:30pm in order to air Dancing With The Stars. Ugh. This upsets me...don't get me wrong...I like Dancing with The Stars as much as the next person...and want Mario and his dimples to take it all...BUT...I do think the election results should take priority. Can't Dancing With The Stars take the evening off? Isn't the results of who is going to govern our nation worth that? Guess not.

Oh...and speaking of the most important news in the world...Britney is filing for divorce against K-Fed! Isn't that a shockaroonie???? Who would have seen that one coming???

Official November Weigh-In

I didn't want to write this post...can't we just forget that October happened? Can't we just pretend that we blinked and it went from September to November?

Nope...well...okay...I guess I have to get with the reporting then. *pouts*

I gained 5 pounds last month. I knew I gained...could feel it, but didn't know how much I gained. I am not happy about it...it's so easy to start slipping and start not doing what you need to be doing...especially when bags of Halloween Candy are EVERYWHERE! Ugh. I want that holiday banished...it's not good for my overall fitness.

Okay...so obviously I need to refocus. I need to workout more. I need to start writing down everything I am eating again. I need to stop eating those white and refined carbs...and stop eating out...even if I convince myself it is healthy like at Panera or Subway.

Hell or high water...I will have a better weigh in on December 1st!

I promise to make November better than October!

I will post tonight with my official November weigh in....the scale said what I feared, but luckily it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. You know...I had this gut reaction where I wanted to just give up and say, "Hey...I can start again like everyone else in America in January."

But...I am not going to do that. I am going to keep my goals in mind for the rest of year...and if I am not at my goal (and let's be realistic...I probably will not be). Then...I will be closer than ever. If I just give up until January...I know what will happen. I will in essence give myself an excuse to get off my diet...to eat lots of pizza and takeout....to eat candy...to not workout. I will end up weighing 10 pounds more than I do now on January 1st...and having a bigger goal ahead of me.

So...I am going to give myself a break and not be all Nazi crazy during the end of the year. BUT...I am not throwing in the towel.

P.S. The Halloween candy has been haunting me...so I cheated and ate some. So...I am officially re-starting my No Candy 30 Day Challenge. I think this is the 3rd or 4th time I have re-started this. But well...I am not giving up!

P.S. (2) Don't forget that tomorrow is election day!!! Don't forget to vote early...heck...vote often! *giggles*

Thursday Thirteen #11

Thirteen TV Shows Shelley Watches Every Week 1. 24 (once January hits!) 2. Lost 3. The Nine 4. Six Degrees 5. Grey's Anatomy 6. My Name Is Earl 7. The Office 8. Wife Swap 9. Dancing With The Stars 10. Intervention 11. People's Court 12. Best Week Ever 13. Top Chef/Project Runway (whichever one is on at the time...I'm watching!) Many of the shows aren't must see shows...but well...they are in my TIVO list, so I watch them pretty much every single week.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Day 1 of the no candy pledge!

Halloween is officially over...and that means that I am starting my next 30 Day Challenge. I am revisiting the challenge that I failed last month...and doing 30 Days of not eating any candy, etc.

I do have halloween candy left over at the house...and of course having it in the house terrifies me. I am going to bring it into work and leave it here for people to eat...knowing my co-workers it will be gone in no time. And knowing me..if I leave it at home, even if I hide it...it will end up being eaten.

I know I can do this...and 30 days without candy in my life will be a very good thing. Wish me luck...and lots of candy free days!

John Kerry and I are officially not friends!

First off...I jumped in the shower before I weighed in this morning...so I will weigh in for November tomorrow. I figured I didn't need the extra soaking wet weight...not this month!

OK...I voted for John Kerry in 2004. I didn't feel I had any other choice...even though I am not a huge fan of his. I thought he was the best alternative, but well...I probably would have voted for a sock puppet instead of Bush. I always thought that John Kerry didn't get to the issues...didn't make it clear what he felt and what would do for the country...and spent way too much time talking about his war record instead of discussing the state of the nation...today...not in the 70s.

But yes...Kerry and I are officially not friends. Most people have heard of his foot in mouth comments about the war and troops. Just in case you didn't...John Kerry said at a campaign event:

"You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq,"

Now Kerry says that he didn't mean that the troops were not smart or educated...he said it was a badly stated joke about Bush and his level of intelligence...not at all about the troops. Kerry says that he meant to say that because of Bush's lack of doing his homework in terms of the war in Iraq that we are all stuck in Iraq.

Okay...you know what...I believe Kerry. I believe that is what he meant. I think that Kerry has NO INTENTION of saying something negative about the troops and their level of intelligence. I think Kerry has an immense amount of respect for the troops and what they do. I think Kerry sincerely wants to protect them and do whatever he can to support them while they are there.

However...because of what he said...and how it came across...he did offend the troops and their families. It doesn't matter what he intended to say...it matters what he did say and that he hurt people as a result. Many people are calling for Kerry to apologize for his comments...and Kerry is refusing. Kerry is saying that Bush needs to apologize for what he has done to the troops and their families.

Grow up, Kerry! You made a mistake...own up to it! You said something you shouldn't have and that you didn't mean. Own up to it and say you are sorry. Be a man. Be a grown up. John McCain was on Good Morning America this morning...and he said that he feels that Kerry just made a mistake, but that he needs to admit it. I respect John McCain a lot more than I respect John Kerry. McCain could have jumped all over Kerry's comments...and continued to malign his intent...much like Bush and Limbaugh have...but instead McCain said that Kerry made a mistake, but that he needs to admit it and apologize for it.

Shame on you John Kerry...I think the most disrespect you can show for the armed troops and the men in arms...is to not apologize for any hurt and dishonor you have shown them. I thought you were a better man...and unfortunately you have shown that like many others...you are just a slimy politician. Ugh.