3 years...so long and yet it has gone by so fast.

I know. It's been a while. Not shockingly, my life has become a lot about baseball and not a lot about anything else.

Tomorrow...is a day that for the past few years, three to be exact...is one of my least favorite. Tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of my mom passing away. It's hard to contemplate that it's been 3 years....and that I've somehow figured out how to function in a world without my mom. I don't like it...but I'm a survivor, so I keep on, keeping on.

And let me tell you...having the anniversary of your mother's death the week before Mother's Day. Well, let's just say it's kind of mean. Seeing all the ads on tv, on the internet, in the stores, etc....just seems to be rubbing salt in the wound.

However, I don't like to let myself be in pity party land...at least not for long. I choose to remember my mom, his spirit and her amazing life...and not that she is no longer here. Tomorrow will suck. No doubt. The good side...is that tomorrow is an incredibly busy day for me, so I can just put my head down...and get through.

Still. Miss her. More than words can convey. Will smile and think of her often tomorrow.

My Report on Giving Up Everything for Lent

Easter was the previous Sunday and the 6 weeks prior to that...was Lent. I always give up things for Lent and this year was no different. Here is the lovely run down on the million and a half things that Shelley gave up for Lent. Be warned...it's a long entry. Of course...no one is requiring you to read it. *winks*

Pizza: This is always the staple thing I give up for Lent. Pizza is my nemesis...with it's warm, cheesy goodness. I swear, I could eat pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day and never get sick of it. I kid you not. I used to always give up pizza for Lent as some kind of kick start to whatever diet I was working on at the time. For decades, I don't think I ever went close to 40 days without eating a slice or many slices of pizzas. Nowadays, it's less about that and more just about tradition. Of course, all the pizza places are having these $10 pizza specials...just to taunt. However, I am happy to report I was not even tempted to eat some pizza. Lent came and went..and I am still quite pizza free. I am sure I'll eat pizza again...but have no intense craving desire to do so.

Candy: This one...let's be honest...is all about the Cadbury Mini Eggs. Lent is the 6 weeks prior to Easter. This is also the same exact time that all the stores have their shelves stocked FULL of Easter candy. The day after Valentine's Day...the shelves are suddenly full of Peeps and jelly beans and yes..the Cadbury Mini Eggs. I love those suckers. I have not found a candy to date that can challenge the mini eggs on their smooth, chocolately goodness. They are THE AWESOME. So, if I don't give up candy for Lent...I'll spend a lot of time and calories from Feb 15th until whenever Easter happens to fall eating those mini eggs. I do buy a bag of them prior to Easter...hide them...and then proceed to enjoy them at my leisure sometime after Easter. One bag...doesn't break the calorie bank....many many bags..yeah, when that happens I suddenly no longer can fit into my pants. Just sayin... And I am happy to report that I didn't have a lick of candy this Lent. I did buy a bunch of discounted Easter candy on the Monday afterwards...but, I haven't eaten it yet. It's just sitting there...LOOKING AT ME.

That is usually it for me and Lent. However, this year I went a little Lent crazy. So...as time went on, I kept adding to the list of things I was giving up for Lent. Here is the rest.

Soda: I only drink diet soda. However, it's still not healthy. I find that if I am drinking soda...I drink less water. I used to drink one can a day...with dinner. I noticed, I was drinking more than that. I was having one with my lunch, one with dinner and often one after dinner. Crisis? No, but I didn't like it. Plus, soda is flippin expensive...and water...is free. So, for Lent...no soda...nada. The only beverage I was drinking was water. I had one day that was dragging tired and would have liked to have a soda, but all in all...very easy. I still think I am going to continue only having a soda on a rare occasion...like one a week, if that.

Fast Food: I rarely eat fast food anyways. I think it's been years since I have been in a McDonald's or a Taco Bell. I do though...eat at places like Subway. It's healthy, but it's still expensive fast food. I wanted the food I ate to be food I made at home. So, no fast food for me.

Bread and Bread-like Substances: This one was new for me. This one stemmed off my kind of cheats off the pizza give up in previous years. If I was giving up pizza...I would just replace it with something else. I would have breadsticks. Umm, that's just deconstructed pizza. However, my mind could justify...it's not pizza. I also...I was trying to kick a few pounds to the curb before Opening Day...so, I was going more low carb. Easy way to do that...no bread like things. No cookies, no bread, no tortillas, no chips, etc. You get the point. When Girl Scout cookies showed up on the scene....yeah, I was cursing this one, but within a few days...I was thankful for it. It's much easier to say no to the cookie pushers (at work mainly) when you can say you gave it up for Lent. Pulling the God card gets their food pushing tendencies to back off pretty quickly. The hardest was the night I went out to dinner at a Mexican food restaurant with two friends. Try getting a meal at an authentic Mexican restaurant...being a vegetarian and not eat tortillas or corn chips, etc. I did it though. I had a nice salad with salsa on top. So, go me!

Resentments: This one. My pastor has always said that Lent should not be about helping your diet...or getting you to lose some weight. She has said that all these things people give up for Lent is really using God. Let's be real...she's right. My example above just proves that. She has talked for the past few years about how Lent is about looking at yourself and your relationship with God. I agree with her. So, I do admit that I use God for dieting and health purposes...no doubt, but I also like to have something that fulfills the meaning of Lent. So, I gave up holding resentments. They aren't healthy and they aren't good for me. If I feel hurt by someone or feel they wronged me...being resentful about it, just continues to hurt me. If I can just let it go and move on, I am much more at peace a human being. It doesn't mean that I can't have emotions about things...it just means I deal with them and let them go. I can still choose to not have someone and their destructive behavior in my life, but if I hold onto resentments...then aren't I in essence keeping that person in my life? This ne...has PAID dividends for me. I'm a happier, more at peace person. I am also better at seeing the good in people...not judging people...forgiving people...and being the best version of Shelley I can be. If I hold onto resentments...no matter how big or small, I become a bitter, vengeful mean person. That is not who I am. I can remember years ago...having a falling out with a friend and I held anger and resentment for years. Being able to let it go...was the healthiest thing I ever did. I was able to grow and realize how beautiful that friendship was...even if it was strained at the time. That...is who I want Shelley to be.

So...there is my Lent report. I am always grateful I participate in Lent. I learn things about myself...and I also cement some really nice habits. And, thanks to my pastor...it's not just about diet and health.

Happy Easter and Happy Opening Day!!

Hello world...well, isn't there a lot to celebrate today. It's Easter...and it's the first game of the 2010 Baseball Season...Red Sox...verses....Yankees.

Easter, ahh...I hate to break it to you, but well...I am pretty sure I am more excited about Opening Day or rather Opening Night this year. No offense Jesus, but well...there is Fenway Park, there is a mound, Joshie Beckett is on it. I can't contain my excitement...as I sit here in my Beckett Sox t-shirt.

All kidding aside...church was really cool this morning. Of course, church on Easter always is full of tons of people that never come to church any other time. They make their two visits a year...Easter and Christmas. For years, I never went on Easter...I got all wrapped up in the hypocrisy of it all. But, a couple of years ago...I went and realized I was missing out on a really beautiful service. Plus, I adoringly LOVE my church community...so spending the morning with them was really nice. It felt right and peaceful. Our pastor did a great activity during her sermon. In the community where my church is...there have been 4 deaths of teenagers in the past year. It's just been heartbreaking and devastating. So, she created an allegory that shared the sacrifice of Jesus, but instead putting it in a high school classroom. She had the teacher hand out donuts to each student...but before they could have the donut, a designated "troubled" student had to do 10 pushups. The student did the pushups whether or not the person accepted the donut....that gift was there for the taking at any time. I thought it was such a beautiful image of the unconditional love of Jesus.

And here is my Easter Basket of candy...I probably will not eat. And of course, it is slightly Sox related, as is most everything in my life.



And that brings us to BASEBALL. I cannot express how excited I am for Opening Day...and against the Yankees no less. I wish I could be there in person, but watching it on TV will have to do. Someday I'll make it to the park for Opening Day, but I can't really complain since I will at the park on Tuesday for Game 2.

OPENING DAY. Josh Beckett vs. CC Sabathia. It's gonna be LEGEN....wait for it...DARY! The game starts at 8:05pm...and the minutes are just inching along. Me want baseball. Me want it NOW.



And God...I know I might have said I am prioritizing Josh Beckett over your one and only son...the Jesus, but umm...if you don't mind, I would greatly appreciate the weather report to continue to say NO RAIN in Boston on Tuesday. Thanks in advance.

Does everyone hate bra shopping as much as I do?

This week...I went shopping for new bras. Anytime this gets mentioned around anyone who is male...they always ooh and ahh like it is the sexiest thing ever. Let me tell you, it's not. AT ALL. It's one of my least favorite things to go. I hate every single second of it. Ugh. If I could pay someone else to do it for me, I would...but myself and my breasts kind of have to be there in order to get it done.

First, I don't like shopping in general. I am a cheap cheap bastard and I don't like parting with my money. Plus, the idea of looking through things and trying clothes on, etc...drive me batty. When I do go shopping, it's such a chore. I have a list...a plan...I go and GET IT DONE.

Bra shopping. The worst. But it had to be done. My current bras were just not cutting it. They were beat up and ragged. So, I headed up to the local outlets...and gave it a shot. I hoped they wouldn't be too badly priced and I could get a couple of new ones.

I was lucky...and found one that fit perfectly...and that never happens for me. So, instead of annoying myself trying on other bras, I was a smart cookie and just bought one in white, beige and black. There. Done. Easy. They weren't too badly priced...you know...for the over priced bras. They were originally like $45 a piece (you flippin' kidding me?), but since it was an outlet...they were marked $22. And..if you bought 3 of them...you got $15 off...so the bra was $17 a piece. Not too shabby.

And here is the thing that happens every single time I buy bras. I always wait to buy a new one until the old ones are in bad bad shape. I try on the new ones...all set to go. And then you have to put on your old bra to go home....and then it happens. Wearing a new, nice, actually fits bra...and then putting on my old, ratty, beat up bra...just reminds me of how badly I have needed them. The bra I was wearing seemed old, but perfectly fine earlier in the afternoon...and now that I've been in a new one that fits...my old bra is completely unacceptable. I always chuckle about it...and then remember that this happens every single time.

But seriously. Hate bra shopping. And trust me...it's SO NOT SEXY. Glad I got it out of the way...and knowing me, I won't do it again until these bras are literally falling apart.

To Be Sick or Not Be Sick, That Is The Question

Since about Tuesday, I've been trying to figure out if I am coming down with a cold or not. I woke up on Wednesday at my usual 4:30am and decided not to go to my cardio class since I just felt exhausted. I figured that maybe I am coming down with a cold...my throat hurt a tiny little bit. I went back to bed, got up at 6am and then went to work. On Thursday, I didn't feel any worse...I had the day off work and felt ok, but not fantastic or anything. I went to the gym...worked out for an hour on the elliptical and I felt fine after the workout. However, my throat still hurts a little bit...just feels like it takes more effort to swallow.

I woke up this morning again at 4:30am...and felt exhausted...plus it was frick freaking cold outside, so I skipped cardio class again. My throat still hurt and my nose was running a little bit, but not stuffy at all...and nothing severe. I went to work...felt fine, except for the little sore throat. After work, I went to the gym and worked out again for another hour on the elliptical. I felt great when I was working out....I had tons of energy.

So...I just wish my body would decide if I am sick or not...and let me know. Pfft! And nope, I don't have allergies at all. I think I'll just try and get some extra sleep tonight and hope that I wake up all bright eyes and bushy tailed when I get up tomorrow...with no sore throat.

Stupid body. Figure it out and then let me know, mkay?

Stupid vampire movies...

I often visit some of my favorite blogs daily...swinging through and seeing what new nuggets of info they might have for me. If they haven't updated in a few days...I get all annoyed and inpatient. While at the same time...I can easily go a week, if not longer without updating my blog. Ahh....

I had the day off work today. For not much of a reason at all. At work, we don't get overtime if we work over our allotted hours, we get comp time...but we can't accrue too much of it. Mine was getting up there...so I had to take some time. Today seemed like a good day.

Productive things I did today...

1. Went to the gym and rocked the elliptical for an hour.

2. Cleaned the kitty litter box...and this time, I didn't smash my finger in the door.

3. Organized some clothes in my closet...and found some clothes I forgot I had. Probably haven't even looked at them in years. They fit, which is awesome.

4. Bought some Red Sox tickets.

5. Got paid and immediately paid my bills...and have no money left over.

And on to non-productive things...Blockbuster sent me the silly Twilight New Moon movie. Yes, they sent it to me because I placed it on my Queue. I am not a fan of the first movie...and think they are dorky and way over-hyped, however...I still planned on watching it. I figured that everyone would want it, so I probably wouldn't get the movie until a few months after it was released, but nope...Blockbuster sent it to me this week.

So, since they sent it to me and all...and I can't get a new movie until I watch the movies they sent me, I sat down and watched it this afternoon.

Cliff Notes. The second movie is sillier than the first. I kept thinking how juvenile some things were, but then I also kept reminding myself that they are made for teenagers. And...the scene were Edward is breaking up with Bella and leaving her in the woods...that scene was totally stolen from Harry and the Hendersons. Just sayin...

Team Jakob? Team Edward? How about Team Rent Lost Boys if You Wanna See a Kick Arse Vampire Movie...

Wal-Mart aka Devil-Mart almost got me back!

Happy Friday folks!

One of my many New Year's Commitments in 2010 was that I was giving up going to the Wal-Mart. It hasn't been easy...but I am happy to report that I have not purchased anything at the Wal-Mart since December of 2009. I also haven't stepped foot inside the house of evil...even though I can go there, just not purchase any goods from them.

Why all the hate for Wal-Mart??? Well..it's nothing new for me. I've always felt their policies towards the community and their policies were well...piss poor. I also think that having a Wal-Mart in the community hurts local, small businesses. Now, I don't think Wal-Mart is suffering too much from my lost business, but it's a step. I have spent a lot of hot air talking about what a horrible corporation they are...while at the same time going to the establishment on a weekly basis to get whatever I needed for the week. So, really...my New Year's Commitment was more about me being less of a hypocrite than about being about Wal-Mart.

Anyhoo...as my subject says...Wal-Mart almost wooed me back this week. My car needed an oil change...and I had a headlight out. My car can be a pain in the arse to change the headlights. One, the panel you have to remove...is always more persnickety than it needs to be. And two, the brackets that hold the lightbulbs in place are almost broken, so one false move and they will break completely.

Last time I had a headlight out, I bought them at the local auto parts store and the employee was able to put them in for me. So, awesome...I went there and asked the price and if they could install them for me. The woman working there...said, no...that is was their policy to not install them for people. She seemed shocked that someone did it for me last time. So, I didn't buy the bulbs there...I am still a diva and wanted to find some place where they would put them in for me. Serve me dammit!!!

I noticed the headlight was out on Monday....and I have plans to be out of town and on the road this weekend, so I didn't wanna wait on it. Plus, Wednesday was St. Patrick's Day...so the idea of giving every cop in the tri-county area a reason to pull me over while they were looking for drunks...seemed like a bad idea.

Since I needed an oil change anyways....and I knew that Wal-Mart would install the bulbs if I bought them from them. I begrudgingly thought..."Oh well, I didn't shop at Wal-Mart for 3 months...but I guess I'll go back there." I had planned on going to Devil-Mart after work on Tuesday and getting both things done.

I came into work on Wednesday...and had a flash of genius. I called around to the local all service shops...and low and behold, Wal-Mart isn't the only game in town. I made an appt that afternoon to go to Meineke and get all my needs taken care of...oil change...headlights...installed.

Awesome. Wal-Mart...you big bad evil...you tried, but you did not beat my spirit into submission.

Happy Belated St. Patty's Day!

Yes, I know...yesterday was the Irish holiday and all...but a day late and a dollar short, Happy St. Patrick's Day anyways. I always love this holiday...not because it is an excuse for drunken debauchery, but because I am a red headed, pale faced Irish kid, so it just feels like my holiday.

What did I do for St. Patty's Day?? Well...I wore a cute little shamrock shirt to work. And...in a very non-Irish way went out to eat at a Mexican food restaurant.

Two of my friends had birthdays this week, so we went out for dinner to celebrate their being brought into the world. The restaurant is a good one...it's a real, authentic Mexican restaurant...not one of those generic americanized mexican restaurants. We've been there a few times...and always got a good meal and a good time.

I wasn't sure what I was going to eat there. I actually considered just not ordering anything and just hanging out with them. I did check out a menu we had from the restaurant at work. Being a vegetarian...who also gave up all bread like substances for Lent (I know...my list of things I am giving up for Lent grows every single day)...I didn't know if the mexican restaurant would be very diet friendly to Shelley. I took a quick look. At first, it didn't look good. But upon looking again, they had a nice, appetizer salad. The salad was supposed to have chicken on it, but I could easily get it sans chicken. So, I decided on that. I ordered the salad...it came with lettuce, veggies and some avocado. I also asked for no dressing...and just put some of the salsa on for dressing. The salsa was hot hot hot...so you couldn't eat a lot of it even if you wanted to.

We had a nice time at dinner. My friends...well, they don't mind the big deal being made about their birthdays...you know...the singing, the dancing, the banging of pots, etc. They eat that stuff up. So, I let the manager know (who might be one of the nicest human beings on the planet) that it was their birthday. They came out and sang happy birthday...AND...they also brought out huge sombreros for the ladies to wear. Oh...and ice cream. Sombreros. You heard me. My friend was disappointed they didn't sing Happy Birthday en espanol so I sang a verse of Feliz Cumpleanos to her...since it was for HER birthday and all.

It was adorable though...and we had a very nice time. The manager also offered us a free shot of tequila before we left. I said no...of course...but it was very nice of him. I'll definitely eat there again and recommend it to anyone who wants a good, real Mexican meal.

Cheating on Lent in my Dreams

This year...like I've done many years in the past...at least the last 5 years, I've given up pizza and candy for Lent. It initially started as a good additional to whatever weight loss strategy I had going on and now it is basically just for tradition.

What's been interesting...is that not only once, but twice I've had dreams about the food I've given up for Lent. Actually, they were both about candy. First one, I ended up eating a mini candy bar...and didn't think twice about it. Then, I realized it was candy and I was giving it up for Lent...and immediately felt so horrible and plagued with guilt. I woke up with a phew feeling...knowing it was only a dream and I am not a big ol' Lent cheater.

Then last week...I had the "I cheated on Lent" dream take two. This time, I dreamt that I was hanging out in the living room...and suddenly candy was everywhere. There was a weird Christmas tree like tree in the living room and it was almost toppled over...filled with so much candy. I started eating the candy...piece after piece after piece. I can remember being so full of candy, I thought I was gonna burst.

I woke up...and just shook my head. Another candy dream. Sheesh.

I think that's a sign that it's a good thing that I gave up the candy for Lent. If not, I might be a bit of trouble...and probably a little heavier. Snickers. (pun intended)

#BoobieWed and a kick ass kid who says "I ♥ boobies"

Look at me...I might be actually writing in my blog again. Who would have thought?

Today's topic...is some let's call it alternative or different ways of promoting Breast Cancer Awareness.

First one is something that is done on Twitter. It's called Boobie Wednesday. Many women...and even some men...on the twitter change their profile picture to a picture of breasts on Wednesday. The point...is to bring up the issue of Breast Cancer Awareness and early detection. It's been going on...actually, I don't know how long, but it's at least been a couple of months.

Last night, there got to be a little spat on my twitter feed of those who support and many participate in Boobie Wed and those who think it is inappropriate and that awareness about cancer should be done in a different way.

I can see many of their points of view....since not everyone wants to see pics of women in their bras on their twitter feed all day on Wednesday. And almost everyone (except one person aka King of Obnoxious...with a dash of hypocrit)...expressed their opinion with intelligence and respect. Some people expressed they thought it was less about the cause and more about attention seeking and self-expression.

And then there is a local story which has very similar tones. There is a kid at a school not far from me...where a 15 year old freshman was wearing one of the black, "I heart boobies" bracelets to school. The bracelets are sold by the organization, Keep-a-breast.org which is an anti-breast cancer group aimed at teenagers and young people. It's goal is to raise awareness and money in order to combat the disease. He has a great aunt who has breast cancer, so he bought the bracelet for her. He wore it to Science class...the teacher saw it, took offense to it and said that he had to take it off. He said he didn't want to take it off, but he would turn it inside out so that the saying was not visible to her. Not good enough...so she sent him out of the classroom and gave him detention. It made the local news...and since then, there has been a lot of discussion about it.

My take on both of these situations. I think anything that brings attention to the cause of Breast Cancer Awareness...or cancer of any kind, I support. I have participated in Boobie Wednesday for the past few weeks and each and every Wednesday, I end up having a discussion with someone about breast cancer and prevention. That's the point...in my opinion.

The first week, I posted a pic of my breasts...with a bra on. And yeah, I immediately felt uncomfortable. It didn't stay up very long. To me (and this is only my opinion), I felt like I wasn't sure if the pic was more about me or the cause. Now, I know some people probably post the boobies pics to promote themselves and get attention, but that is a HUGE MINORITY...at least of the people on my twitter feed. It's about the issue. This week, I decided to still participate, but instead I posted a pic that I snagged from a Breast Cancer Awareness site. It was a pic of someone else's breasts...and the pink ribbon in the middle. That to me...felt much much better.

And as for the local kid. Good for him. How many 15 year olds do we know who not only support a cause, but are willing to stand up for themselves and the cause when they face some resistance??? Not all that many that I know of. And...as a result in my community people are talking about breast cancer. All because of this kid and his controversial boobie loving bracelet. In my local newspaper there is an article about the event and in the online version there are 132 comments on the article.

If it isn't your cup of tea...well, the ignore button is real easy to use. I know many people on twitter who turned off their yesterday because they didn't want to see pics of women in their bras. However, they still heard the message. That teacher...she could have been a grown up and accepted the student turning his bracelet inside out, so that it was no longer visible to her. However, in both cases...the issue is out there. Words sometime..they are cheap. They are real easy to ignore or to completely miss. However, campaigns like this...well...just the past two examples, they work.

P.S. For any women reading this...wait...men too...because men DO get breast cancer. anyways...think back to the last time you did a breast self exam...if it was more than a month ago. You are overdue. If you are unsure how to do an exam correctly, this link should help you out.