back to the grind....

Today was my first day back to work...I initially thought I would go back on Monday, but my brother and his family were getting on a plan mid-day, so I decided to take Monday too so I could see them off at the airport.

The services on Friday were wonderful...I saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a long time. It was nice to see how loved my mom was. And the funeral service was very nice as well. Our current pastor came...and our former one as well. I just adore our former pastor...he is such a good man and always seems to know the right thing to say.

Later on Friday we all went to my aunt's summer home...about 45 minutes away. We got to hang out, have some food and just spend some happy time together as a family. It was really, really nice. I hadn't seen some of the family in at least a few years...so it's a somber reason to get together, but a real joy to see them. And my aunt...she's just so wonderful. She is just the most warm and loving person.

And I got to play with my nephew...Alex...bunches and bunches. It was really great...brought a lot of joy to the weekend. I love that we are such buds...and that he gets a huge smile whenever he sees me. I am so grateful for him and that he was around.

If anyone out there in cyberland knows me....knows I am not someone who cries. I am just not very emotional, never have been. But, I will say...I have cried, understandably, more in the last week and a half than I have my entire life. I cried my little eyes out the day after...I cried at church...I cried when my brother came into town...I cried when putting the pics together (after picking a fight with my brother)....cried at the funeral...cried while watching Celebrity Fit Club and listening to Marcia, Marcia, Marcia talk about her mom, etc. I still don't cry a heck of a lot...I think of my mom often...all the time....and emotion comes over me. I learned though...that I cry when it is important....and this was.

But in all honesty...I am okay. I will miss her forever....and be saddened when I think of things we could have done together, etc...or that Alex will grow up not really knowing her. But, I know how lucky I was to have her as long as I did.

And...she would want us to keep living...to keep having joy in our lives and for her, I will continue to do that. I owe her at least that much.