UJ: friends

I think sometimes when you have really wonderful friends....you tend to take them for granted and under-value them. It just seems like the norm that is how friends should be...and you don't realize how amazing and wonderful they are.

In the past few weeks, I have had some wonderful times and some stressful hard times with friends...and out of it all, it has made me really appreciate just how amazing they are. I think for me, a test of a great friend is someone who you can tell anything....who you don't worry that they will see you differently or judge you because of what you said. A friend is someone who you just want to hang with....no reason for it, just to be around one another. A friend is someone who immediately pops into your head when something wonderful or something tragic happens and you know you just NEED to call that person and fill them in. A friend is someone who you can't imagine your life without.

I have been lucky to have more than my fair share of friends like that....and I think I am beginning to realize how lucky I am and to not take that for granted. I have one friend in particular out here.....who means more to me than I ever really realized. It's been a road for us...being very close, kind of growing apart and finding our way back to one another. But, she is a true gem....and someone who reminds me why it is so important to be a good friend. Who reminds me why friendship is one of the true gifts in life. Friendships and the support they give....and the opportunities they bring....make the hiccups in the road of life just a tad more bearable.

You know what is also sad....when you have had a friend like that and they are no longer your friend. I sent this internet quiz out to some friends about a week ago. It was a fun 10 question quiz about how well your friends know you. I sent it to many people...including someone who was once my best friend in college. Through a lot of drama...and well, heartache...we are no longer friends like that...I don't think we are even friends at all. Well, I sent her the quiz...I am not sure even why I sent it to her, but since I think that once someone becomes a friend of mine, I don't ever truly think of them as not-a-friend, etc. And as my own arm chair psychologist....I probably wanted to see if she would ever respond.

So, she responded. She took the quiz...and then sent me an email asking how I was. We haven't spoken person to person in over 3 years...and probably haven't emailed back in forth in about a year and a half. I haven't responded yet....I am not really sure what to do. I am not sure I want to open back up that friendship...that line of communication yet. I think that we went through a lot....so that one time best friends no longer really talk anymore. But on the other hand....she made the effort to send the email and ask how I was. She made the effort to fill out a quiz where she probably knew she wasn't going to do very well. I have started writing the email a couple of times....and ended up trashing it. It either ends up too mean...or too emotional...or too something. Aurghhh! And...in reality, I did this dilemma to myself because I sent the quiz...I opened the door. And why did I do that? Hmm...very good question. It might take some significant therapy to answer that question!!!

So...that is where I am....looking at an email....knowing the right thing is to respond, but finding the best way to do that. Wish me luck!

Shelley

P.S. Happy 4th of July everyone! Enjoy the fireworks!!!

P.S. (2) Just to let y'all know....Shelley still does not own a couch! I own a pretty car, but nothing that resembles a couch!