a little bit on edge...

The past week...actually 2 weeks if I am being completely honest...I have had an increase in anxiety. It's nothing specific...it is just there and always lingering around. I find that I am more sensitive lately...and when something happens, I react more than I used to. I just feel kind of on edge all the time. I don't let things just slide off my back like I used to.

The thing that concerns me most...is that when I was younger...high school and college...I used to have a lot of anxiety. It got to the point that it was effecting my functioning...I wasn't sleeping...I was either not eating at all or eating a house...I was not spending time with friends....I was pretty misreable to be around.

I don't feel like that now...but I can feel anxiety creeping back into my life...which makes me even more anxious.

If I had to play armchair psychologist...I would say that a lot of it might have to do with the fact that a lot of things changed in my life in the last couple of months. I think a lot of it has to do with the transition to living with someone else. I like having a roommate. I like having someone to chit chat with and hang out with. When I lived by myself...there are periods that I felt really lonely and isolated. But at the same time, I miss my alone time. I miss that I can't have everything on my schedule...and if I think about it, that might be causing me some anxiety. I know that I just need to adjust...and I think this anxiety period is part of the adjusting period.

I am also not too happy with my evening job right now...the video store. I have contemplated quitting on numerous occasions. In many ways...I don't need that job. I don't need the money. I don't need the nights working until 1am. I don't need the drama of being scheduled when it isn't convenient or even possible...and then having people try to guilt me into working. I don't need to work with some people...who are more juvenile than their age would indicate. The only thing I do like...is the free rentals and the friends I have that work there. Also...I like having a second job. I like having something different to do.

So...I am going to call the YMCA and put in an application and just see where that goes. And if that doesn't pan out...I might just decided to consider volunteering somewhere like the SPCA or something like that.

Don't worry y'all...I am not completely crazy....yet!

P.S. I am in Day 5 of my No Fast Food Challenge...and so far, so good! The test...will be the weekend. I can hold my own like a rock star during the week...but the weekend is often a different story.