UJ: woe is me....

So far my weekend is going better than my cranky mood on Friday. I had to work today, but it was a volunteer activity with a bunch of kids from a local church, so it was lots of fun.

There is a laundry list of reasons why I was pissed at the world on Friday...most of them don't bear repeating since they really weren't that much of a tragedy, just common stressors. One is sticking with me though...

I have mentioned this before...I had this friend in grad school and then for the year after. We hung out a lot and she was probably my closest friend in Bloomington. Well...over the last 9 months or so...we haven't been friends...in fact, we haven't even talked. It's been hard for me...but something that a month or so ago, I think I finally accepted and got over it.

Well...it feels like that gaping wound has been opened again...and salt rubbed right in it. I saw this friend on IM...and decided to stop being angry and stubborn and say hello. I was angry she hasn't called or IMed or emailed, etc...but instead of just being angry, I just decided to IM her and see what was up. We had a pretty blah converstion..."Hey, how are you? How is work? How's the family?" And then at the end of the conversation...she says that it would be nice to get together, etc. So, I told her I am home most nights...and to give me a call. She said ok and that she would call me next week.

Well...you guessed it...next week has come and gone and my phone hasn't rung. I guess I should have learned my lesson months ago...when she stopped calling then. You know...I never knew I was such a bother than she couldn't make a 5 minute phone call. Yep, it pisses me off...and hurts me too. It reminds me how much my friendship doesn't matter to her.

I know...I know...I should stop letting her make me feel that way. I know that in my head...but easier said than done. Anyhow...that is the woe is me...Shelley once again lets herself feel like a disregarded doormat. But in the end...it's no one's fault but my own.

Note to self: next time, just close the IM window...

Shelley