I'm still not a fan of birthdays...I didn't have a bad birthday, but I don't know...I think personally, I would be a happier person if they didn't exist. I don't mind getting older...but it is the obligatory celebration that I don't think I like. It's hard for me to see a lot of value in it. I mean, I wouldn't mind a party just like the next person, but at the same time....i don't know...it sometimes seems like such a waste. And at times, having a birthday can make you feel even more moody or more lonely that you already are....like this year, I realized I didn't get calls from people that called last year. I got calls from others...and they mean the world to me. But, I was aware of some of the losses in my life yesterday on a more dramatic level. Plus...having my friends and family so far away....the ones who I really would have liked to celebrate with...weren't here. It was nice though....my dad talking about how much he would like it if I moved closer to home...I really have to start looking into that.

I had a nice time though....2 friends here in town took me out to dinner and it was nice just to chit chat with them. I talked maybe a month of so ago about increasing my social life and I slowly see it happening. I have a small group of really nice friends from work....and that is a really good thing. I am still not sure if I want to stay or if I want to go back east....but I do know I have some really nice people here to hang out with.

Before the realization that I needed to start hanging out more often with the friends that I had...I was spending most of my time with my *friend* I was having issues with. I never had a problem with not having enough friends...I just didn't hang out with them outside of work or school or whatever social situation we were in together. I would hang out with my one main friend and that was it....seeing our friendship go down the tubes was a lesson for me that I should really branch out.

But back to work for me...this week, there is so much that needs to get done...busy busy week!

Shelley